Everything Has Changed

Half Alive

It's four AM, I'm waking up to your perfume

Don't get up, I'll get through on my ownI don't know if I'm homeOr if I lost the way into your roomI'm spiraling into my doomI'm feeling half alive but I know one dayYou and I will be free,

To live and die by our own rules,

Free..Despite the fact that men are fools.

The gunshot sound reverberates from inside the house to the surrounding area. Jax and Chibs, for the first time in their entire lives don't run head first into the action. Both men are frozen in place, both just a step off their dynas. For the first time in their entire lives the men are scared. That sound means only one thing. They are too late, that Tara, the kids, or both have been shot by Malone. The brief stop last mere milliseconds of their lives, but it could mean the worst possible thing and neither man is prepared for that. They glance at one another, both too afraid to speak and begin their military like directions to the rest of the men arriving to surround the house. Neighbors peek out from inside the safety of their homes but none come out and none call the police. No need. Whatever violence is about to ensue is being handled by SAMCRO.

Chibs and Jax enter the home in complete silence, and find the inside is devoid of any sounds as well. It breaks Jax's heart to know it was him returning home to find Tara that may have cost her, her life. If only he would have left well enough alone. Sure he would have been without his family, but they would have been alive to have a family, a life, even if it was with Chibs. He could have sent a letter. Called the club house, but he had to see his hometown for himself. See if it had changed in all years since his absence. It hadn't. His life with Tara flashes before him:

Tara - I asked Dr. Namid if I could assist. I wanna help your son.

Tara - We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else. We're just better human beings when with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave...I belong here.

Jax - Do you love me? It's a simple question.
Tara - It's not a simple answer.

Jax - You shoulda gone back to Chicago. The shit that happened with Kohn, that shoulda been the end.
Tara - You're not making sense.
Jax - This has to be the end. You gotta get out, from Charming...Away from me. It's simple. You don't belong here.

Tara - I sacrificed everything for you. I have tried to see what you see how you see it but I can't. All I see is the lies and the violence and how it's changed you. Turned you into a monster.

Tara - I'll die if I have to. At least I know I tried to save them from becoming what you are.

Moving with precision, Chibs takes the cover offered by Jax and moves into his kitchen. He flashes on the many mornings he's shared with her and kids here in Jax's absence:

Tara - How come you make living here with you so easy?

Filip - It's ma secret love. I'm tryin to make ye stay forever.

Tara - Can this be real?

Filip - It can be as real as ya want mo grah. Or it can be nothing at all. I know your history.

Tara - And if I want it to be real?

He leans in and kisses her again, this time allowing himself to show her more emotion,