Everything Has Changed

The Scientist

*Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles; coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

It's been a full 48 hours of the worst nightmare of his life. His wife is unconscious after emergency surgery. Tara had been in surgery for a full 8 hours before they had been provided any updates. A full 8 hours of life saving efforts. Her spleen removed, internal bleed stopped and a burr hole drilled in her head to make room for the brain swelling that now threatened her life. She'd been thrown through the front window of the mom SUV she drives when she has the kids with her.

All that, and a broken leg have left Tara Knowles-Teller in the hospital. 48 hours of silent prayers by her bedside have left both of the men in her life at a silent reprieve. They have agreed upon a silent schedule of one staying with her and the other going to the kids' rooms. Able and Thomas are awake, and sore and missing their mom, so all tears are put away for the few hours they spend with them. Charlie however is another story. The doctors have said that she's in a coma. For reasons unknown she just hasn't woken up. Of the three children she was by far the lest physically hurt, very few bruises, and no broken bones. The boys have tons of bruising and a few broken bones and fingers, but other than the fact that she won't wake up, you would have no idea anything was wrong with the fair haired little girl.

Jax walks back into Tara's room. She looks so small, and weak, and he hates that Chibs is holding her hand, but there's no room for bickering. She's strong, she's a fighter, but she doesn't need to hear the two of them still at each other throats.

He clears his throats and the other man looks back. "The boys are asking for you." He says.

Filip kisses Tara's hand and stand up. "Changing of the guards." He smiles and pats Jax on the back.

"Thomas..." Jax says and Chibs turns to face him. "He says that his favorite book, is One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Says you read it to him every day." There's still silence as Chibs only nobs. "We read that book today, three times already but he says you do the voices better."

"It's the accent, but I told 'em both I don't have an accent."

"Thank you." Jax says as he turns away from the man and takes Tara's hand. "Thank you for loving them and taking care of them when I didn't."

The scot has so much he wants to says, but now is not the time. "It's hard not to love them."

"It is." Is the only response Jax can give. It's silence for a moment more and when he turns the man behind him is gone. The room is deafeningly silent save for the beeping of the machines.

He pulls the chair closer to her bedside and holds her hand so gently, as if he's afraid she might break. She doesn't, and he wonders how he ever was so stupid to leave this woman behind. She would have been his partner, his best friend, and she would have been more then glad to help build the life for their family.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science; science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

He strokes the hand of the only woman he has ever truly loved. "I use to think about where I went wrong. Which of my boneheaded moves was the one where I went too far. Which one was where I became someone I didn't even know. I think, among the many, one of the biggest is the day that I let you think you had a man you needed to change in order to love. I mean I pretty much had fixer upper written on me. You tried so hard to make a better boy of out me. Pushing me all through high school, hell you even left me behind and made this amazing life for yourself. You didn't need me and all my fucked up mommy baggage."