summer camp.

16

Millies pov

✧

This was the first night I had a dream about it. A very vivid dream may I add. I woke up, but not in screams. I was crying but the tears were silent, just like my pain. I hadn't told anyone what happened, not even Finn. I'm sure he has an idea now because of my melt down last night. I need to tell him. He deserves an explanation.

I'm facing the wall, laying on my side with Finn's arms wrapped around me tightly from behind. I can feel each time his chest rises and falls, pushing my back, causing me to move with him. My face is wet and I'm shaking, still upset from the dream and the memories that haunt me. I have to wake Finn up. I have to tell him now.

I turn my body around, causing Finns arm to fall but it instantly, almost instinctively, tightened around me pulling me close. I was now facing him, face to face. I smile as I observe the way his hair falls in his eyes and the freckles on his cheeks. He looks so calm. Maybe I shouldn't tell him. Maybe I shouldn't upset him. No, I need to tell him...but in the right way.

I put my hand on his face gently, running my thumb lightly under his eye. I begin moving my head forward bringing my face to his. I held it there for a moment, enjoy the way his warm breath hit my nose and the closeness that was now present. Slowly I touched my lips with his, waiting a moment before pressing them together. He didn't kiss back which I wasn't surprised, considering he was sleeping. I held the position for a moment, enjoying the warmth and the contact that I didn't realize I longed for. As I started to pull away, I felt his hand move. It went from my hip, across the curve of my body, and then to my back pushing me forward. His eyes didn't open but he was now smiling, signaling he was awake.

Ever so gently, the hand went up to the back of my head and before I know it we are kissing again. This time he's kissing back, and definitely not holding out.

"Good morning" I say, coming up for air.

He pulls back and smiles.

"Good morning sweetheart" he says, turning his head to look at the window that is beaming light through.

"Finn..." I trail off. I need to tell him. He raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue, but I can't. I can't say it.

"I uh...I need to..."

His eyebrows furrow in confusion causing me to feel guilty. I decide that maybe I should just play this off. I take my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to look as appealing as possible. I put my hand to his chest, watching it as I trail it down.

"Kiss me" I whisper. I feel him start to rise, causing me to look up at him. He then put both hands on either side of me, hovering over and leaning forward to close the space between us.

He presses his lips against my forehead and starts moving them down, not missing a spot on my face. I smile as his lips eventually linger over mine.

"I love you" he says against my mouth.

"I love you, too."

Guilt. It drops in my stomach like a heavy rock in a deep lake. I can feel it move through my veins and I just feel so...bad. The fiery and affectionate feeling I once had is gone. Now the lowness is back and its eating me alive.

Before he closes the small space between our lips, I put a hand to his chest, stopping him.

"Finn, I have to tell you."

His face shifts but it's not from confusion like I expected. He knows what I'm going to say.

"Please..." he pleads. He looks sad now, his bright smile turning to a frown. The fire in eyes has now disappeared leaving them cold and hurt.

"Did they-"

"They didn't rape me, Finn" I say cutting him off.

A small look of relief begins to show through, but I'm not finished.

"They didn't get the chance too..." I trail off. His eyes widened.

"They tried?" he asks.

I want to cry now but I need to continue. I need to tell him, it's not fair to him. I press my lips together but as soon as I open my mouth to talk, a shaky breath escapes causing Finn to put a hand up to my face.

"After they knocked you out, they dragged me into the woods. Jack held on to me so I couldn't run and they started asking me random questions, like what my favorite color was and where I'm from. They said they wanted to get to know me better before they...got to really know me."

My eyes keep shifting down to avoid his gaze above me. His face is red and he's angry but I continue.

"Then, Jack pushed me against the ground and climbed on top of me. He started playing with my hair, saying he liked it. Wyatt just kind of watched and cheered Jack on. That's when I fought back and started running."

The look in Finn's eyes was frightening. A different kind of fire was present. I didn't like it and I was now uncomfortable with him being on top of me. I started to push him back and I sat up. I wanted to hide and the big T shirt that I was wearing isn't helping much, so I grabbed the blanket that was wrapped around Finn and I and brought it around me, covering myself.

"Millie...I'm so sorry."

"Finn-"

"No. Don't say anything." He looked like he was in pain. Like someone who had just experienced an injury. I felt tears begin to fall from my eyes and then words started falling out of my mouth. I couldn't keep it together anymore.

"I just want this to go away. I want this all to go away."

"What Millie? The situation or-"

"...The pain, Finn."

He moved over to me, scooping me into his arms. I cried into his chest, not caring anymore. Just letting it all out. He rubbed my back and tried to shush my cries.

"I'm going to make this go away, Millie. I'm going to make this all better."

I shook my head. There wasn't anything he could do. There wasn't anything I could do. There wasn't anything anyone could do.

I heard a knock on the door and imminently after the door opened.

"Finn I- oh shit." It was Gaten. I hear him walk over to us. I couldn't see him but somehow, I felt his mood change. The atmosphere in the cabin was filled with sadness

"What's up, Gaten?" Finn asks, still holding me close.

"Um...everything is ready. We got them." Finn stopped rubbing my back and perked up.

"Oh...good."

He pushed me away from his chest and set his hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes.

"Millie, go get dressed. We're going to make this go away."

-

A/n [PLEASE READ]
Okay so I wanted to talk about a couple of things. First off, a few self promos because i'm annoying. So I do have two other stories which i'd love for you to go check out. They both are fairly new so it won't be hard to catch up. Also I do have an Instagram account that you can follow, the user is @/maddhattah . If I don't accept your request please dm me saying you're from wattpad and i'll gladly accept it.
Secondly...a sequel. So the next chapter of this story will be the BIGGEST chapter and there will only be twenty chapters, chapter twenty being an epilogue. However, I do have a sequel planned that is very different from this story. The ending can go one or two ways based off if you guys want a sequel. I could make the ending be a transition into the sequel or I could tie it up nicely, it's your choice. Please let me know and leave feedback xoxo.