Riverside | Mental Hospital | (Finished book)

Chapter Eight

After last night's incident, I approached Dannie with hesitance, I didn't know how she was feeling, and I definitely didn't want to upset her any more than necessary, and nor did I want to clean up after her again. I spotted her in the corner of the canteen and headed over. She looked really upset, and I walked over and plonked myself down next to her. In front of her was a muffin and coffee, and she was sat in a ball.

"How're things?" I asked her gently. "Fine..." She mumbled as she looked down at her sleeve. "It's okay.... I don't mind..." I attempted to gather eye contact, although I miserably failed.

She pushed her muffin and coffee towards me, but I shook my head and pushed it back. I looked into her eyes, they're full of sorrow and upset. I was so heartbroken to see my friend so upset, low, miserable.

"Dannie, please listen..." I pleaded with her. She looked at me with so much anger in her eyes, frustration, I could see it.

" JUST FUCK OFF EFFIE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GET A LIFE! I APPRECIATE LAST NIGHT BUT GIVE ME SOME FUCKING SPACE!!"

I looked at her, tears rolling down my own cheeks, I stood up and turned around and walked off. I felt so triggered by her and as a consequence has immediate irrational thoughts, only this time I had seen sense and went to find help. I saw Claire walking down the corridor ahead, so I ran up to her. She looked incredibly surprised to see me, and just as she said hello, I collapsed into tears in her arms. I shrunk to the ground, I needed help before I done something I regretted!

Clare pulled me into an office near where we were, and I told her everything, I knew Dannie would hate me after this argument, but someone needed to know, I couldn't handle myself, or my own raw emotions. I was a mess and was having bad urges, but I didn't want to be moved onto ward two either, so I kept certain stuff quiet. Once I calmed down Claire and me had a proper chat in general, about Riverside and how I was doing, she suggested a review and I agreed; I felt a bit all over. Yet I was thankful for having Claire there, she's so understanding.

After my meltdown, and reassuring Claire many times that I was absolutely fine and didn't need any further support, I at least tried to go find Dannie, we both needed to talk; I searched around for quite a long period of time, before I did find her by the pond, and I gently approached her, she was sat down staring into the bond, and went and sat next to her.

"Dannie, please listen to me;" I pleaded with her,

"Sorry, Effie... I can't cope; there's so much on my mind... You; and well they want to discharge me",

"Dannie that's brilliant, but if they knew about last night they wouldn't..." I looked at her and felt guilty, I just told Claire everything about last night and how trigger I felt, she promised not to say it was me but it's pretty obvious. Plus I told Claire I'd try and persuade Dannie to go toward two.

"Yea I know Effie... But maybe I don't want to leave!"

" That's great then; you shouldn't worry! But why don't you want to leave this place, Dannie?" I looked at her confused, and she stood up and looked at me in the eyes...

"Effie you don't fucking get it do you!" I looked at Dannie tears brimming in my eyes, she was hurting me so much... I didn't know what to say or do.

" Effie you don't get how much it hurts me seeing you and you won't even..." I looked at Dannie confused, she was in a bad way, and in all honesty, I didn't want her to do anything stupid.

She looked at me again and paused...

" I might as well fucking kill myself." Dannie turned and fled, and I followed after her as quick as I could, I couldn't trust her and far as I could see it she was suicidal.

I ran after her at full speed, and how the nurses didn't realise I didn't quite know. I watched as Dannie fled up the stairs, and I just couldn't keep up.