Unethical

Pessimism

pes·si·mism
ˈpesəˌmizəm/
noun
a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen; a lack of hope or confidence in the future.
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I woke up to rustling in beside me and turned to see Dan just looking at the ceiling.

"You alright?" I asked him and he turned head and looked back at me with his brown eyes looking like honey in the morning light of his bedroom, and his hair messy, curly and stuck up in some places.

"Yeah, I didn't realize you were awake." He said quietly "I was going to get up but I didn't want to disturb you." The flat was completely silent but his voice. I let out a yawn and stretched in the sheets.

"You can go back to bed if you want." He offered.

"No, I'm awake now."

"Would you like me to make you something to eat?" He now offered as he sat up. I looked at the few faded scratches across his pale, lightly freckled back.

"No, I'm not hungry. You can make yourself something though and I'll sit with you in the lounge while you eat it for a bit until I have to leave." I smiled as he now got dressed and my eyes followed him across the room.

"Sounds good." He came over to me and kissed my forehead "I'll meet you in there."

When he walked out I remembered that the only thing I had to wear was what I came here in last night in.
I slipped the dress on feeling far more uncomfortable and unconfident in it than I had last night.

I walked down the hall and into the lounge where I saw Phil sitting in the chair on his phone and Dan on the couch eating a bowl of cereal while the tv played.

Dan looked over at me and smiled at my dress in amusement.

"I forgot that was what you were wearing last night." He said trying to stifle what looked like a laugh or smile.

"I'm ready to go home and get it the hell off me." I said with displeasure.

"You've already had it off you, now come sit down." He said with his eyes back on the tv. I couldn't believe he had said that in front of his flat mate.

"Guys. Eww." Phil nagged as I went and sat by Dan, but he ignored Phil's comment. "I'm glad I was gone last night." Phil said while looking down at his phone.

"You should be." Dan laughed.

"Stop." I scolded Dan dryly, who immediately did stop.

They both got into a conversation about whatever was on the morning news while I casually looked through my Twitter until my phone began to wring with the contact "mum"

I got up and headed into the hall to answer my phone.

"Hey mum." I answered.

"I need you here today around noon." I heard her say.

"That's too early and I'm kind of busy right now." I objected.

"I have things to do. Do you want to see your mother or not?" She asked in astonishment as if I would even dare to say no to her.

"Yeah, fine, I'll be over." I said with a sigh.

"You don't sound too happy about it. I thought you would be elated to see me after we haven't talked in a week." Her tone was cold.

"I am. I'll be there." I assured her.

"Good, see you then." She said before promptly hanging up. I called for a taxi before I walked back into the lounge.

"I have to leave in a minute." I told Dan as I sat back down with him.

"Why?" He asked.

"My mum. She wants me there sooner than I thought." I told him.

"Did she say why? I thought you were going over there in the afternoon or evening not at freaking noon."

"Apparently she has things to do." I said flatly. "I already got a taxi so I'll probably be leaving soon." All I wanted to do was just be around him and I was kind of upset that I couldn't.

"Be sure to let me know how it turns out" He said but there seemed like something was off about him I couldn't pin wether it was his tone of voice or wether it was just the way he was acting, but he seemed slightly distant.

I chalked it up to me just being paranoid and I left and he gave me a kiss on my way, out easing some of my paranoia.

It was awful. I had to rush back to my dorm and get ready as fast as I could before taking the train all the way to Greenwich and upon my arrival at her house she immediately told me I was five minutes late.

For once she asked what was going on with me and wether or not I had taken my ex boyfriend back, when I told her no and that I was dating someone else she called me a liar and basically said no one else would have me.
She told me my hair looked  like shit but at least I lost weight to make up for it. I tried to tell her that I got a pretty nice job and she just rolled her eyes and told me I'd probably be fired within the week. I was feeling beat down and broken, but I took it because she was my mother.

I had sent Dan a few texts while I was there but he never answered and on the train back home I asked him if he was mad, but I didn't receive a reply to that either.
He was probably somewhere with a dead phone or busy, or maybe he'd broken his phone all together. I couldn't think of a reason for him to be mad other than me leaving early, and that would kind of be a really stupid reason to be mad.

Could he be mad that I said no to him coming a long with me to my mum's? He didn't seem mad last night and he told me to let him know how it turned out. I could of really used a talk with him, it would of been nice, he could of made me feel better by just even so much as letting me listen to the sound of his voice.

He never texted me back, I had stayed up until at least eleven. By this point I was a little upset and really hoped he had a good reason or was alright.

And then I started worrying about being controlling.
I turned into a very pessimistic person when I got upset or sad, and that probably wasn't healthy.
I just needed to suck it up and deal with my problems alone by myself for tonight, just like I use to have to before Dan.

Remember to vote, I ship Dan and Phil with actual ships.
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