legacy | uswnt

Legacy: Chapter 41

Carli groaned at the front door as it remained closed.

Her girlfriend Hope Solo was returning to NYU for the weekend, and before the woman had pulled a no-show, Carli had been excited as ever for this (hopefully) sexy time.

Her idea of a perfect day hadn't changed, but reality sure had set in. The clock chimed seven o'clock, about two hours after Hope was supposed to have arrived. It was Friday night, and Carli was exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to simply cuddle with Hope. So far, the image was fading quickly as Carli watched the closed door. 

Hope was supposed to be flying into the Albany airport and then taking the train down to New York City. The worst scenarios flew through Carli's head. What if Hope had slept through her flight? What if the plane had crashed and Carli would be notified in a few hours? 

She felt her heart speed up and shook her head, trying to convince herself that there was just traffic. Except, Hope wasn't picking up her phone. What did this mean? Carli hopped up from her chair and started to pace. She was getting really freaked out now. 

Another hour passed and Carli frantically called Hope a total of thirty seven more times, only to be met with voicemail. She changed between lying in total silence on her couch to making whimpers as her fingers shook with nerves. 

Carli was waiting in her dorm room. Her roommate Steph had gone to hang out with Rae and Mal. Nobody had said anything yet, but Carli was pretty sure that Steph was going to be the third wheel. Not that that was on her mind though, because all that Carli could think about was Hope. 

Finally, finally, finally, somebody knocked on the door and Carli practically flew to it to answer. She paused outside and took a deep breath. She couldn't get her hopes up too much. What if it was just Steph who locked herself out? 

Slowly Carli opened the door and let out a sigh of relief. She collapsed into Hope's big arms and shook slightly against her chest. For some reason, not only was there solace in Carli's grip, but she twitched with anger at Hope. Hope released her and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. 

"You're late," Carli whispered, letting the door shut behind them. Hope's eyebrows narrowed and she pulled her very much alive phone out of her pocket. The lock screen was covered head to toe in notifications from Carli, and the midfielder instantly realized the wallpaper had been changed from a picture of Carli to Hope and two other women; Haley and Michelle, the other goalkeepers on the Seattle Reign. 

Carli swallowed the lump in her throat as Hope shrugged. "Sorry," she said simply, and Carli's heart fell a little bit more. Not only was her girlfriend late, but apparently she hadn't even realized the time. Or that Carli might be worried. Or that the lock screen was important to her. 

Hope scrolled through the messages for a moment before looking up at Carli. "Wow. You left a lot." 

The Jersey girl bit her lip to keep herself from crying. She nodded, and looked down. Finally, she spoke. "Where were you?" 

"I stopped... which is why I was late." 

"But where did you stop?" Carli asked quietly. She was having a hard time containing her tears. 

"Uh, I stopped at Haley's mom's house. We ended up talking for a while..." Hope trailed off, knowing she was digging herself into only a deeper hole. She bit her lip as she heard Carli's response. 

"Was Haley w-with you?" 

Hope's silence was all Carli needed. The woman shook her head in disgust and turned away from Hope, taking a deep breath. 

"Carli..." 

Carli turned around and glared at her girlfriend. "Hope, we can't do this." 

"What do you me-"

The midfielder shook her head again. "Not here, not now. Maybe not for a while, I don't know!" she threw up her hands in the air, exasperated. 

"Wha-" 

"Don't talk Hope," Carli ordered, her voice cracking in anger. "You've been silent for so long, I think you can handle five minutes. Okay?" Hope nodded. 

"I love you Hope. I love you so much. But we can't- this isn't going to work, if you're all the way in Seattle, hanging out with these oh-so-cool people and I'm stuck in college waiting for you to come home. Because you know what will happen someday, Hope? You won't come home..." Carli sniffled. "And I'll be here waiting forever. Without you." 

Hope opened her mouth to speak, but Carli held up a hand. "I'm not done. Last summer, I was so in love with you. I mean, I still am, but what I mean is that I was in love with the way you loved me. And I just don't see that anymore. Not responding to me is one thing, but shutting me out entirely? Hope, you haven't called or texted me or even attempted to say anything for over the past two and half weeks. And I can't carry on like this. Unless some miracle were to happen... But it isn't, and that's reality!" 

Tears glistened in Hope's eyes. "I'm sorry, Carli..." 

"Sorry doesn't change anything Hope!" Carli protested, her face wet with tears. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and sniffed. "Please leave," she managed, not able to look the woman in the eyes. "Please... just go somewhere I'm not. Go back to Seattle..." Carli murmured, looking at Hope sadly. 

Hope shook her head. "No, Carli! I'll stay here with you! I'll be better I promise..." 

Carli bit her lip and swallowed a sob. "Pl-please, Hope. Please." 

The goalkeeper gave Carli a tight hug and kissed her forehead. "I love you?" she attempted softly. Carli ignored her. Hope's tears spilled down her face and she let her girlfriend go, giving her a long look before stepping away. 

"Car, whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting for you."