legacy | uswnt

Legacy: Chapter 19

Ever since Mal had gotten Steph out of the dark comfort of her bedroom, it was like the two were always together. Whatever it was, they walked to classes arm in arm, went out to dinner late at night, they were always together. Or at least, that's how Rae saw it. Nothing was more annoying than seeing your roommate, your supposed best friend and possible crush ignore you for over a month. If not annoying, it was definitely irritating. 

Rae knew Lindsey saw it, even though the blonde girl was as distant as ever and spent more time in the "library" than with any of her best friends. But when she was with Steph, Mal, Rae and Allie, Rae saw the solemn and suspicious glances Lindsey cast between the two girls.

The situation left the freshman alone in her room for most of the uneventful weekends, scrolling through Mallory's instagram and unliking any pictures of Steph. It sometimes seemed like Rae was everyone's second choice. Definitely Allie's second or third, or obviously preferred to spend time with her girlfriend, Kelley, or best friends, Tobin, Alex and Hope. Lindsey's best friend had been Kristie before she, well, left. Nowadays, Lindsey hung out more with Allie and that group of older girls or spent time alone in her room. 

And obviously, she was Mal's second choice. Damn though, it hurt her, knowing that there would always be someone whom Mallory liked more. 

-

The sun had set over the skyscrapers of New York City, and Hope was lying in bed with her sheets pulled up to her chin. The week following the soccer game against UMASS had been tough- Hope had to deal with a very low Carli, who was still beating herself up for making them loose. Not only Carli, but Hope felt guilty as well. If only she'd saved one. 

But that was the past, and thinking about it wouldn't make it change. A chatter was still buzzing from the kitchen as Alex, Allie and Ali played poker and sipped wine. Hope had joined them for a little bit, but being so terrible at poker, she lost horribly and decided not to try again. 

It was hard to fall asleep with the sound from the kitchen, and even the honks on the busy streets which Hope usually found comforting, made her feel restless. The closed door to her bedroom opened a little and Hope assumed it was Allie, her room buddy, probably having gotten out as well. The keeper closed her eyes and faked being asleep, not having the energy to make conversation with the other woman. 

What she heard instead, however startled her. Soft sniffs escaped Allie and at first, it sounded like she was doubling over in silent laughter until Hope realized, it wasn't laughter. It was tears. 

She had no idea where Allie was in the pitch black room, but Hope sat up and listened more closely. Yes, Allie was definitely crying. She wasn't bold enough to whimper, but little crooning noises of pain flooded out of her as she rustled in pajamas. 

"Allie?" Hope whispered, her eyes finally adjusting to the dark. A shape a few feet away froze, half dressed, quivering. 

She cleared her throat before responding. "Yes?" 

"Can you turn the light on?" Hope asked. 

Silence. Allie slid her arm fully into her pajama shirt and scampered over to the switch and flicked it on slowly. After recovering from momentary blindness, Hope got a good look at the blonde. Allie turned slowly, her hair hanging oily and unruly into her face. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hands shook. 

"Oh, Allie..." Hope murmured, getting out of her bed and making her way to the girl. She wrapped her arms around her and squeezed tightly, feeling the wetness from Allie's eyes soak into her shirt.

Allie's tears came quickly and a soft sob escaped her before she sneezed into a snot-filled mess. "I'm sorry," she moaned, gratefully accepting the box of tissues Hope handed her. "Thanks," she muttered. Hope tugged for her to follow to Hope's bed and they both sat in silence. 

"Al, what's wrong?" Hope asked after a minute, her blue eyes soft. 

Allie shook her head. "It- It's silly. No- nothing really... Ju- Just that I'm ov- overwhelm- med..." she hiccuped, leaning into Hope's shoulder. 

"From what?" 

The blonde shrugged. "Ev- everything... Everyone's been counting on me to keep secrets... Like the whole Tobin and Christen thing... and Mal and Rae, who was missing, but now she's back... and Lindsey's been looking at me weirdly and Kelley has been looking at Alex weirdly too, and I'm just really con- confused... I don't know what I feel anymore and I miss how simple things were, like, in fresh- freshman year..." she stammered, finally coming to a quiet halt. 

Hope was silent, unsure of what to say. It was the first time in a while that someone had really spilled their guts to her. Carli would never in hell because even with the amount of love she shared with Hope, she was still an introvert and private person and preferred talking about soccer (or just kissing). Alex and Hope talked about their personal lives, sure, but it was always happy and light. 

This was the first time Hope had experienced, well, this. Finally, the keeper leaned over and hugged Allie again. It seemed to be the right thing to do. And it was. 

-

Lindsey took a deep breath before knocking on Coach Sonnett's office door. 

"Coming!" The woman shouted from inside. Lindsey took a deep breath and closed her eyes, fixing her ponytail and making sure she had nothing in between her teeth before the door swung open. 

Coach Sonnett was quiet as she looked the student up and down. Jeans and a Rolling Stones tee shirt. Not too bad. "Can I help you?" she asked, leaning against the doorway frame. 

"Uh..." Lindsey stalled, looking at the woman with a slightly parted mouth. "Oh, um, yes, actually. I was won- wondering if we could talk?" 

Coach Sonnett seemed to get the drift and opened the door wider, allowing Lindsey to pass. Once the door had been closed, Lindsey took a deep breath. "Coach," she started, only to be interrupted by her. 

"Can I say something?" 

Lindsey shrugged, slightly taken about. "Sure..." 

"I know you're my player and technically, my student as well. And I'm your coach and teacher. But that won't stop how I feel! I mean, what we have, Linds, it's special. It's more than anything I've ever had before. And I want to hold onto it." Coach Sonnett said, holding up a finger to let Lindsey know she wasn't done. "And even if this isn't right, I know you feel the same way." 

Lindsey was silent. "Coach..." 

"Call me Emily, please," Emily smiled. 

"Fine, Emily, I... I really really like you. I think you're beautiful and I... I want to make this work as well. But, I just don't know how! We have to be quiet about everything and it would mean taking a huge risk. Like a jump off an airplane. We don't know if we'll land on our feet." 

Emily sighed. "Oh, Linds. I'm happy falling, as long as it's for you."