I know I try so hard
to grasp this face I hold.
Trying to look like I'm in control.
I know I tried to tell you so many times before
that I'm on the right train of mind.
The things I think about
probably never occur to you.
The things I feel
should probably never be felt
and forgotten for as long as we live.
I know I try so hard
to keep holding onto something.
I know you probably know
something about me.
Maybe if I decided to vanish
it could free a bit of that storage
inside your head you waste on me.
I know I try so hard to contradict
every single other stance I ever held.
My thoughts and my words sometimes differ
and it's hard to tell which one is my truth.
Who knows what else I could do
if I tried to plow through mental blocks
that barricade my road,
my path to something worth it.
Who knows how it'd feel?
