Hard Knocks

23.

Y'all probably tired of me and my little messages but oh well I like to talk... anyway for the ones confused about Rae's sex scene let me clear it up. Your first time isn't beautiful and the pain don't turn to pleasure. lol books always make it seem that way but to my young virgins it is not beautiful at all. It actually hurts a lot. They basically breaking you in. After is painful as well. I went at least 3 days with a throbbing vagina...I didn't even wanna sit down. Then I was spot bleeding and yea it wasn't what I read about or saw on movies. I didn't have an orgasm because once he stuck it all in I was over it. Usually they understand and don't trip. This is me being real and giving y'all a heads up. Second time was lit tho. That's when the pain turn to pleasure 😂😂💀. So Rae was me my first time... eager to see what that D was like and crying after 😭😭😭.

Chapter 23:

Raegan

Standing in the hospital waiting room I looked out the window. I wasn't looking at anything in particular I just didn't want to look at everybody else. If they weren't crying they were watching me cry and I honestly couldn't deal.

The best day of my life had made a drastic turn and become the worst. I didn't want to feel this pain at all. My heart felt like someone was twisting a knife into it and I couldn't stop them.

To see my brother laying in his own blood and there was no one by his side as he fought to take his last breaths made me sick to my stomach.

Feeling the urge to vomit I quickly covered my mouth with my hand before darting toward the emergency exit doors. Running outside I threw up in some bushes on the side of the hospital.

Feeling my hair being pulled back I didn't even look to see who'd followed me outside as I continued to throw up my inside. I kept seeing Ryan every time I closed my eyes and I couldn't handle it.

"I can't do this." I choked out as my food from earlier continued coming up.

Feeling a hand rubbing my back I stayed leaned over until everything in my system was released.

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I began to cry again. Turning around I came face to face with Tony who's eyes were just as dead as mine. He'd been crying.

Despite my bloody clothes and bad breath he pulled me into a hug. Not holding back I released every tear I still had onto his chest.

"I can't lose him." I hiccuped.

"I know. He gone be good. He a fighter."

"This is all my fault." I said not being able to take the blame off myself.

Breaking the hug Tony pulled back so that he could look down at me.

"Dis shit not yo fault. You ain't have nothin' ta' do wit dis you hea' me?"

"My brother was dying and I was too busy fucking his best friend. Let me go." I yelled pulling away from him.

"What?"

"This is all your fault. I should've stayed away from you." I yelled hitting his chest as he stood there letting me release my anger out on him.

Carlos came out the hospital and pulled me away from Tony and I began to hit him as well.

"Raegan you gotta calm down shawty." Carlos said restraining me.