Colourblind - A Troyler Fan Fiction

Chapter 11 - Just A Little Bit

Phil looked into my eyes, but then looked down. Only fainting guilty. "Well, no." I had anticipated what would happen next. Phil's fist was clenched, heading straight for my face. But suprisingly, for both of us, I dodged it with experience.

"Let me guess? You were going to mangle me and then tell me how different I am?" I started. "Well, I've heard that before. Try something more original, bud. Your name isn't even original."

I looked straight into his dark, stormy eyes. "Your words, they don't hurt me. I am numb to your threats and beatings. I feel like I am on top of the world today and nothing is going to bring me the fuck down. Nothing."

I couldn't help but smirk. Everything I just did had more pleasure than punching his face in. Seeing the glare in his eyes, there was nothing better. Phil was not going to bring me down.

I walked out of the cafeteria, down the hall and out the doors into the fresh air.

* * *

"She said let's change our luck,

this night is all we've got.

Drive fast until we crash

this dead end life."

I sang the We The Kings song happily.

I was alone in my room on this Monday afternoon. But, since I only knew the first verse I became very bored. Very quickly. After all I had done at school I just wanted to relax. I decided to watch a film instead. But I didn't know which one I wanted to watch. Contemplating, I went downstairs to get some Nutella and nacho cheese Doritos.

"Crazy, Stupid, Love." I said.

And that is what I watched: Crazy, Stupid, Love."

My laptop was on my thighs. 15 minutes later it was on my stomach and half of my Doritos were gone. This film was dysfunctional. I heard my phone ring. Tyler. Okay.

Me: "Hey, sugar tits!"

Tyler: "Hi. How's it goin'?"

Me: "I'm good."

Tyler: "Okay. So, what are you watching? I hear voices."

"How do you know I'm not with someone?" I teased.

"Because, it sounds like you're on a laptop, Troye. What are you watching?" He insisted.

"Uh," I chuckled. "Crazy, Stupid, Love." Tyler sighed.

Tyler: "You know, now I can't strike up a conversation because I've never seen that movie! Thanks, Troye!"

"Always a pleasure." I smiled.

Tyler : "Well, what's it about?"

Me: "Uh, all I've seen so far is just lovely. Ryan Goslings character is hot. Well, he's hot, I guess. Anyway, Cal who is played by Steve Carell and Emily who is played by Julianne Moore are happily married and one day Emily asks for a divorce,

"Cal seeks out his manlihood and meets Jacob who is played by Ryan Gosling. Jacob helps him navigate the single scene. That's all I know so far."

Tyler: "Oh, so it's dysfunctional?"

Me: "Really dysfunctional."

Our conversation ended there because he had to go pick some stuff up. He said we'd talk later. I kind of just fell asleep towards the end, but woke up to the computer's heat burning my stomach.

* * *

Tuesday morning. Oh, what a wonderful day, right? WRONG. Tuesday's are the worst day of the week. I have a philosophy for this, too.

You see, Monday's are ok. They go by fairly quick and you can just rush right through them.

Wednesday's are the middle of the week, and for some odd reason, that's great!

Next, you've got Thursday. That's one day to Friday. Friday is one day to Saturday, the weekend. Sunday, you're holy day. The resting day. But, Tuesday's, they aren't in the middle of the week, they're in the beginning. The day is just there to make the amount of days in the week un-even. So, therefore, the day sucks.

As did mine, so far at least. I'd spent all of my morning classes worrying about getting crushed to dust in the afternoon. Now, I'm just worrying about getting crushed to dust.

I haven't anything to do but wait. Fearful of pain. But why should I be afraid of pain? It's just something we feel. Something we feel to tell us that something is wrong. Which leads to be afraid of getting hurt. That road leads to you being afraid of taking risks. Well, Tuesdays and pain, you get added to my list of "FUCK YOU'S" And while I sit here in Spanish class, I'm wondering whether I should run or take it. Just like this problem on my paper, I don't know how to solve it.

"I can't fix this." I whispered. Everyone is doing their work. Work that I will have to hand in blank.

"I- I can't fix this." I sobbed quietly. My vision became blurry.

What am I going to do? I can't fix this now. I am lucky to even be sitting here right now.

There's always later though. You've got the entire day, Sivan. The entire day to wait for your eminent death.

My conscience was killing me. Making me even more worried. I could feel my hands shaking.

I can't.

But I couldn't see them.

I can't.

What will I do?

No.

I'm going to die.

I CAN'T FIX THIS!

Brriinng!

The bell almost scared me out of my seat.

"You okay, man?" A kid grabbed my arm, steadying me.

"Yeah." I nodded. Breathless. I was still shaking.

I just have to go to my locker. Then I can go home. Locker. Home. Locker. Home

Hurry.

I fumbled with my combination. I spun the wrong numbers. I cleared it, turned it three times and opened my locker. A white piece of paper fell out and I picked it up off the ground, only glancing at it. I rushed to put my books in my bag. But then I realized that that paper wasn't mine. I looked at it again.

It said: The game starts here. Whether you want to play or not is not your choice. You've got no option but to play. So get ready. 'Cause this might hurt.

I ran. I ran faster than i ever have out of that building and all the way home. I don't know what kind of sick joke this is.. but I'm not so sure it is a joke. I'm in trouble. And I can't fix this.