A Very Potter Mess

Maybe unlikable cliche-ness runs in families?

Hey, people. I'm Stella Orrbit Caylee Fairydust Card Binder Book Glass NoteBook Bracelet PictureFrame StillCliche iCantWrite O'Lara. And my name is totally normal! I'm also the only female marauder! Let me explain. A few years ago,I was entering Hogwarts and all nervous and stuff. Since I'm AWESOME the hat dude sorted me into Gryffindor where I met these four cool dudes. Well, three of them were cool. The other one was literally a rat. Oh, did I mention I'm an animagius? I became one when I was like 10 even though it's a very long and arduous process that a ten year old wouldn't have the patience to do. Because I am. I'm a totally awesome GLITTER CAT!! Yes, I'm so awesome that my animagious doesn't exist in the real world! I'm just that cool!! Anyway, I get out of my bed and walk into my epically huge walk in closet (even though I'm in a dorm) and put on my school robes. Ugh, they don't even begin to showcase my FABULOUSNESS! I look in the mirror at my flawless black hair with blue streaks in it that I have t brushed but is somehow totally smooth and untangled anyway and frown. My hair is a mess! Why doesn't it ever look good?! My gorgeous rare purple orbs turn red because they change color with my mood and I'm angry at my looks. As I stare at my flawless skin, I sigh. I'm just so ugly! I should just be locked away somewhere so people don't have to look at me! Anyway, I walk out of the dorm room all depressed and with blue eyes and mouse dude walks up to me.
"Hey, uh, what's your name again? Cheese. Betrayal. Sorry, I don't know what came over me there. Cheese. Anyway, I've known you for a few years, but it's just so long! Cheese."
I groan and tell him my absurd name. Walking out of the common room, I meet up with the cool marauders in class when suddenly, a wild Snape appears! Cue pokemon music that hasn't been written yet! I groan loudly as he sits down at the other end of the room with a girl with bright red hair. Ugh. Gingers are evil. I keep telling James this but he won't listen to me and keeps pursuing her to the verge of her being annoyed and uncomfortable even though he'd never do that in canon. Oops I just broke the fourth wall oh well that's nesecary in fanfics anyway hey readers! I glare at Miss evil ginger girl who's actually very nice. Don't try to steal my man! Even though he isn't really into me and you aren't into him, he's still mine, gurl! James then makes some horrible sexist comment that he'd never make in canon because he's actually really nice and looks at me all sexy even though he's never shown interest in me before. The rest of the day goes by really quickly, almost as if the author didn't care and wanted to timeskip. But anywayzz, then I went back to my dorm to cry over my ugliness. And I passed out. And when I woke up it was like five years later and I was like twenty or something. I'd been in a coma or something for no reason and so of course the first thing I did was go find James to bother him. I don't even remember cheese dude. Wonder if Wolf Boy and Sirius are still okay? Anyway, I finally find out where the potters lived and oh no he married ginger girl?! But that's okay because I convince him to do it with me anyway because fanon James isn't respectful and is just a dickwad. And ermagerd I'm pregnant? Crappola! My parents won't be happy. Oh right I don't have parents. For some reason or another. Maybe the author was just too lazy to write them in. Well anyway I end up giving birth on the exact same day as ginger girl? Except mine's a girl? I don't really remember what I named her. I think I was drunk when I named my daughter. And high, too. Celebration of not being pregnant anymore. I can't quite remember what I named her, but I think I called her Marie. Marie Sue something-or-other Potter. And James took her in under the pretense he'd adopted her as an orphan. Except she was Harry's twin somehow. And I lived happily ever after! Before I died of alcohol poisoning because the author needs me to be dead. I'm telling you this as a ghost! I'm a hogwarts ghost actually? And I think I'll be meeting my weirdly named daughter soon! I hope she didn't turn out like me...I hear clicheness runs in families...