A Very Potter Mess

Introducing: Miss Marie Sue!

OMG hOI my name is Marie Sue Aquamariene Strawberry Crystal Sapphire Cliche Emerald Ruby Tree Chair Paperweight Annoying Lightbulb CeilingFan CantSpell BadGrammar Potter. (Who named me anyway?) And I am *drummroll* HARRY POTTER'S SECRET SISTER! Yeah, I don't know how and under what circumstances I was born so I can't tell you guess it's gonna be a mystery forereeeeever! Anyway I'm like 11 now so I'm going to Hogwarts and imma meet my bro for the first time I'm liek soooo EXCITED!!! So anyway it's like the morning of my birthday and so I get out of my gorgeous queen sized bed and walk into me huge closet and sit down at my vanity. Looking into my mirror, I see my butiful radioactive emerald orbzzzz and my gorgeous flowing ravin ebony ombré hair with purple-and-pink tips as I look at my flawless skin (even though I should have just ht puberty and have acne everywhere). Brushing my hair, I wince as I look at my face. OMG IM SO UGLY WHAT DID I DO TO DESRRVE THIs? I pull on a designer $100000 dress and some $2577 short-shorts as I walk downstairs to my foster parents. As soon as I walk into the room they yell at me. OMG Im so troubled since I have no parents I went all EMO so I've been through a few dfoster homes but they've all hated me because reasons. My foster mom hates me even though she bought me these clothes and let me have the master bedroom for some reason. Anyway, I'm forced to make my "sister" food before I can check the mail and OMG IT CAME! "mom's' happy at lest since ill be out of the house from now on and my "sister" is happy too for the same reason. It's July 31st since I'm actually Harry's TWIN OMG!! So I've got time to go to Diagon Alley and get my stuff even though I live in America (why am I even going to Hogwarts they have a school here).
So the next week some giant dude shows up and fireplace magiks me to DiAgon Alley and I'm ACTUALLY REALLY RICH IT TURNS OUT!! LIEK OMG!!! I have Money?! So after I get my million billion dollars even though were in England and the currency here is pounds and it's wizards anyway so it's different, I run off to get myself some robes. And who would I meet there but HaRy pOttER himselF?!so of course I do the logical thing and turn to him screaming. 
"OMG HI HARRY I'M (uh wats my name again? Oh yea right) MARIE AND I HAVE A LOT OF NAMES BUT THATS NOT THE POINT BECAUSE IM YOUR TWIN SISTER!" He of course immediately understands instead of being all weirded out and is all "okay yeah cool" but then in comes the EVIL Draco Malfoy! I don't even know him but he's EVIL that's for sure but oh shite he smexy but no gotta hate him for my bro-bro so I just sorta freeze as mr. sexy-but-off-limits glares at my bro and he glares back. I run out of the room from the nonexistent back door because guess what I can create doors from nothing now! I don't wanna be in conflict! So I run out and go to Olivanders and get mi wand! And it's like special? It's 15 inches and hazel and has a fenix core that matches...VolDEmOrT's?! But is Thot that only mi Bro's wand had that?!  Well watevzz its all good I have mi wand and I'm rich and I'm gonna go to Hogwarts soon!  Bai!!
I'm
A/n: I lost my inspiration for my other story, so I'll be doing this until I regain it. I haven't actually read many bad hp fanfictions, so
I may be getting the cliches wrong. Please tell me if I am and I can change it. Anyway, I already hate myself for writing this. I'll update once a week. Or whenever I'm inspired to. Expect more insanity, stupidity, cliches, bad grammar, and orbs as we continue!