9th of September 2018
This date marks exactly 2 years since my dad died. The weather was gloomy all day, it slowly starting to spit now that I've arrived at the graveyard. How typical for it to rain at the cemetery.
I stared at the tombstone that stuck in the grass as it read;
In loving memory of
David Hood
And though he lost the fight, he'll still be our hero.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I repeatedly read the quote on my fathers grave. Memories like waves crashed back into the shore of my mind and I sobbed harder and harder. Every single day I stray further from struggle without him, but that will never mean it won't hurt to miss him.
"You tried your hardest, dad. I know you always were a fighter. I just can't believe this was your end." I cried as I tried to speak to my father.
I wiped my eyes, then slowly kneeled down to lie the bunch of flowers I had in my hands, onto the grass in front of his tombstone.
"You deserve so much more than flowers. I wish I could deliver you the world," I say quietly, getting back up onto my feet, "till next time."
I slowly turn around and start walking away, when I see a tall blonde figure standing with a girl around his arm, quietly sobbing.
I squint my eyes to see through the rain, and I read on the tombstone, "Julia Hemmings". I sighed to myself and felt guilt for Luke. He had lost somebody dear to him like I had. Perhaps this doesn't change the way I hate that boy, but change the way I treat him.
He doesn't seem to notice me, surprisingly, since I was standing there for quite a while just staring. I furrow my eyebrows at my stupidity, and walk off.
That night, I was alone at midnight on my rooftop, strangely waiting for Luke to join me, but he never did. I got lost in my thoughts which tired me out enough to feel sleepy enough to go inside and sleep.
The next morning I met Ashton outside, giving me a lift to school. I was contemplating telling Ashton that I saw Luke at the cemetery, but I felt like it wasn't really something to talk about. I'll respect Luke's privacy. He may not want people knowing he was there, although that confuses me to why he brought his stupid girlfriend with him.
Ashton and I walked into our school, tired expressions all over our face. My eyes meet the two figures leaning against a locker, looking all in love. I cringed at the thought of Luke and another one of his hoes, and kept walking.
Luke doesn't care about the girls here. I just wish everyone would know that and stop falling for his stupid games. I feel as if I'm the only real person here who knows the truth. I'm truly the only person floating in a sea of drowning teenagers.
—
Wow you should kill me I'm very sorry for these updates I go through phases where I'll continuously update every day then suddenly completely forget about this app and not update or even go on it for like months
I need to regulate everything but I'm so lazy sorry but I'm gonna try
- deany xx
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