Gentleman's Agreement

Perhaps...?

From one secretary to another. I knew she had to be either an intern or desperate for the job. Caroline was young.

"I hope so. I don't want to undermine him or disappoint his expectations of me." I watch her fix her skirt in the reflection in the glass window.

I had to admit Mr. Hale knew how to pick them. Caroline was sharply and didn't lack in any department that I did. "Let's go, Caroline," Mr. Hale calls for her abruptly disturbing our conversation.

"Yes sir," she says obediently.

Obedient. Just like what he wanted. Someone to do as he said with no questions asked. I could never be what he wanted. My feelings would always outweigh the options of adhering to his expectations.

I watch as Caroline shuffles towards the glass door of the office. Mr. Hale's eyes are looking elsewhere. I assume he's trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"Good day, Ellie,"

"Have a nice day Caroline," I say softly. "Mr. Hale.."

"Miss Donovan.."

He nods closing the door behind Caroline walking down the aisle of cubical. Some part of me felt like he was detaching himself away from me. An aching feeling filled my gut. The feeling you get when you feel your love for someone else slipping between your fingers. The feeling of you losing the grip on your life.

I had to control myself while I had been at work. This was not the place to ramble in my thoughts about something that I knew wouldn't be able to work. He was too far gone. We both had to be professional about this for our occupations.

Caroline had been the exact woman that he wanted. Obedient and inclined to do anything he asked of her. I knew my place had been elsewhere. I had been trying to kiss the ground underneath his feet when I knew even that would be a stretch.

I couldn't gloat over our brief affair, but I couldn't get my head wrapped around Caroline being his new conquest. Maybe I was pondering too much on the subject that both of them would have this sexual connection that Mr. Hale and I use to share.

Just thinking about the thought of them both gave me some feeling of angst. The thought of Caroline and Mr. Hale frolicking in bed when I knew he had already been in bed with me. "I have finished filling out most of the paperwork. I will be emailing some packets back and forth with Mr. Hale's secretary." I inform Mr. Vasquez as I am gathering up my belongings.

"Are you well Ellie?" He asks tilting his head to one side.

I am quite sure Mr. Vasquez could pick up on my mood, but I try to sound nonchalant. "I'm not sure what you mean?"

"You seem a bit quiet and under the weather. Is there something bothering you?"

Yes.

"No." I shrug my purse onto my shoulder. "I just tend to be a bit more focused when it comes to working. I have known to be a procrastinator. I would like to exert myself in the places most needed. I apologize if my enthusiasm isn't always there." I try to go the most professional route and not sound so condescending on myself.

"I know this project will particularly be strenuous, but anytime you need to take a minor break feel free to inform me. I am pretty sure we can handle a day or so without you. You have contributed a mass amount of time and effort into this company. I want to thank you again."

Once again Mr. Vasquez was being far too modest. He's the one who hired me into a field that's more than strenuous but to take a chance on a girl like me. It's quite the blessing. "No, thank you, Mr. Vasquez. You are more than kind. I assure you I am well." I end the conversation on that note.