Transformers Prime Memory is the key

Chapter 13:: Lost

Just thinking about the cold reminds me of home. There if one does not keep their body temperature to an average level the cold will seep into your very bones until they shatter. This being said I knew I had to get someplace where the rain could not. A cave would be preferable, but the likelihood of finding such a place in these conditions are little to none. My best chance is to huddle down next to a tree and wait for the rain to stop. I just hope my glasses haven’t blown a circuit. If they have I am doomed. I’m no where close to a place that sells parts nor do I have viable currency to exchange for the necessary pieces. I doubt they will trade food for such things in this place. All the people here are far wealthier than any I have ever seen or met in my life.

They are fortunate to be free and live as they do. It’s sad they don’t realize it. Never in my life have I seen someone throw food away. It is strange to me. I know people who would do anything to get even the bread off a sandwich to feed their families. And here they toss it out as though it were a commodity, but I suppose here it is. I am simply unused to the customs of this world as of yet. Either way I look at it, it is not my place to judge another’s actions I am no better then they. Where I’m from I am seen as a thief and vigilante. Where as here I am seen as a mute, quiet and unseen.

 Not to say I am ungrateful for the change, but I miss my home. I do not feel safe amongst all these…. What is a word I could use to describe it?....Things? All these people surrounded by metal buildings and machines. The machines and buildings do not bother me as much as the people do however. I am not used to having such close interactions with the public on a daily basis it’s unnatural.  I do not know why I feel this way, but I suppose if I had to I could amount all of these feeling to two simple factors. They would have to be accounted to the fact I have never lived in a place where people do not live in fear and as strange as it may seem I miss my home. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say I miss being needed. I have always been a protector and now there’s no one to protect. Instead I’m the one being protected. I feel as though I’m useless and as these dreams, visions, or whatever they are persist! I feel as though that somewhere, some how someone or something is calling me, but I don’t who or why? Am I going mad?

Something wet fell from the sky and landed in my eye bringing me once again out of my inner most thoughts. I rubbed the rain water from my eye and began walking. ‘Why do I always have these thoughts when it’s raining?’ I asked myself and sighed in pure frustration at myself as I began to pick up my pace trying to set myself to task. On the outside I keep a calm continence but on the inside I was seething. Since coming here I have found that my senses have been slipping. Which I can only assume is because of this false sense of security instilled in me by not being chased or hunted for the past few days. Why is this happening to me? First I lose all of my memories and my voice, now I’m losing what has kept me alive for the past few months. What have I done to deserve this? Is it a test?….. ‘God I know you are almighty and all knowing but please tell me what have I done to deserve this? Please give me something anything at all. Just give me something to hold onto. I can not take much more. I have had too much time to think and each thought is more unsettling than the last. Please if you can hear me tell me what I am to do. These dreams have rocked me to my core and I can no longer see the light at the end. I am no longer fighting for a viable purpose that I believe in…. Here I feel as though I am simply a tool to be discarded when my usefulness has run out. Why do I feel this way? The Decepticon cause is worth fighting for is it not? I mean I’m doing the right thing right? I understand that you only give the toughest battles to your toughest soldiers but I am breaking and nothing is putting me back together. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore’. Pausing I lifted my gaze to the crying heavens feeling my own unshed tears well in my eyes as I asked the one question that had been plaguing my thoughts since I found that portal to this strange place. ‘Why me?’