The Girl In Room 417

Untitled Part 12

The nurse in front of me appears to be possessed by the wrath of Satan himself, but I can't bring myself to listen.

Abby.

Short for Abigail? What's her surname? Why does she go by 417?

Talking to her always did this to me, my curiosity was never sated when we spoke, she elicited me with even more questions than I began with.

And then there's the guilt. The overwhelming sense of shame in my actions. Not only had I failed to fix the relationship between my sister and 417-Abby. But I had also snapped, blurting out my initial, hurtful judgment of her. She was right. Her medical history is none of my business, she doesn't even know me.

But I want to know her.

I know that it's rude, but I can't face my sister again and disappoint her. I know that she'll have heard everything, she was right, nothing seems to be kept a secret in this place.

I decide that I'll fix things tomorrow, when I feel stronger and more rested. My agitation is only growing the longer that I'm here, so I can only hope that I'm making the right decision and not making everything worse.

My fingers twitch at the thought and I find myself craving a cigarette, but I have quit, for Emily. I clutch the almost empty packet in my pocket and throw it into a nearby bin before I change my mind.

I'm a failure in a lot of ways, but I'm not failing this.

My feet take me on an aimless journey, I don't want to go home just yet. My dad is so tired all the time, it's depressing and the house is too quiet without my sister. No, I don't want to go there. There aren't a lot of other places to go, though. We aren't the kind of family that has a lot of money spare and every penny I earn goes straight to my sister or food or bills.

I don't have to, but my dad is struggling, it's obvious. I sigh and ponder what to do, how to fix the situation that I have just made 10 times worse. How do I always manage to do that? My teachers always did say that I had a short fuse and no filter whatsoever. It was forever getting me into trouble, I didn't think it would be a problem once I was out of school.

I sink into a bench by the river that divides the hospital from the main street. It's very pretty out here, perhaps I should bring Emily out here, once she's a little stronger and of course, not trying to kill me.

The trees with the pink and white flowers are blooming again, blossoms, I think they're called. Emily would like to see them.

Perhaps 417-Abby, would like to see them too. They look similar to the flower that she had painted on Emily's card and I vaguely wonder if they're the same. From here, I can see her window. I will try to make amends tomorrow, I decide. I can wheel her out here, then if another shouting match occurs, it'll afford her a little more privacy.

I nod to myself. Tomorrow.

_

The bravery that I had mustered up yesterday seems to have vanished by the time I wake up, because I find that I would rather have sex with a goose than visit that hospital. Geese terrify me, evil creatures that work for Satan himself.

However, despite this, I shrug on my nicest jacket and reluctantly head towards the hospital. Emily will call me a coward for sure, but I'm not so concerned about her reaction.

I go the long way, taking the back staircase instead of the lifts and walk into Emily's room before I change my mind. She looks up as if she were expecting me.

"Coward."

I roll my eyes but nod in agreement. Things will be far easier for me if I agree.

"You don't need me to tell you that you messed up in a herculean manner." She says, matter-of-factly and I sigh, nodding again.