This isn't goodbye! [Yuri On Ice!!] (Victor X Yuri)

[LETTER 4]

To Yuri,

Hows life, tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever. I hardly see you anymore. Not in the news or real life. Is it because the last time you saw me is still burned into the back of your mind. its been a weird time for all of us, Yurio is having an amazing senior career so far right?And you're making an amazing comeback for yourself. I'm getting back to where I was. You're still in my thoughts, you're still my lover forever after.

I've noticed you've become closer to a certain Phichit Chulanont. Do you like him? It seems like it. I saw you very close to him during Europeans, when you were cheering for Otabeck. I'm beginning to think you're already together. But if we loved again I'd swear I'd love you right, I'd go back in time to change it but I can't. You can say I'm jealous, because I am.

These day's I haven't been sleeping.  Staying up late, asking why you left me, I know why. But I keep refusing to accept because I love you so much still. I know you're over me and maybe I can get over  you. Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, but if you can get over us then I know I can get over you... Eventually.

Turns out freedom is nothing but missing the person you're in love with right? But this is me swallowing my pride saying I'm sorry for the day of the Grand Prix Finale where I told you that you were selfish for trying to end us. I just never wanted this fairytale to end, its not everyday that you have a drunk person make a request to coach them. I'll never have the chance again and I thank you for giving me that chance.

I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you over the past few months but you have to understand there'll always be space in my heart for you. I'd do anything for you my love.

~Victor Nikiforov

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SONG CHOSEN FOR THIS CHAPTER:

BACK TO DECEMBER
BY TAYLOR SWIFT

  I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.
All the time. 

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