I started to become greedy. I want to live with you, grow old with you, hold your wrinkled hands, and say how warm my life was with you.
I hope, we'd have a better fate in another life; Y/N.
The pains were inevitable, I wonder if it would heal. It...
I have a seat on the red long chair while waiting for Dr. Bora. While waiting, I stare at the sunset through the opened windows in front of me.
I curved a smile as I look at the beautiful evening sky.
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Me : *smile*
Me : Beautiful as always :)
Then, my sky-gazing was stopped when the nurse asked me to come into the treatment room.
I enter her room with a smile on my face as always and she is also welcoming me a same way.
Me : What's wrong? Is there something that you want to tell me?
Then, I can see that her facial expression was changed. Even though she tried to hide her worry but, I can sense that something is wrong.
I hold her hand and smile.
Me : Dr. Don't worry. I know you for over 10 years. Tell me.
She took a deep breath and start uttering the words.
1 Hours Later 🍃
I look down at my feet as I walk out of the hospital as it already becomes my habit if I'm not okay. I took a deep sigh and stop. My heart is pounding faster after hearing Dr. Bora's advice.
I'm too tired to survive. I'm sick to see all of this medicine, stupid machine, and treatment. I bite my lips to prevent myself from crying.
Me : *sigh*
Me : I hate my life. Sooner or later, this heart will stop beating for sure.
At Home 🍃
Eomma : Dear, have you go to the hospital for the treatment?
Me : *nod*
She comes closer, pats my hair, and then kisses my forehead. I just smile while looking at her face. I knew for sure that she is hiding her sadness again.
Me : Eomma ...
I look at her sad eyes while holding her cold hands.
Me : I'll go.
Me : I'm sure Dr.Bora already told you. Please don't be sad anymore. It's hurting me.
Without I knew it, my tears already fall but my mother was burst into tears and hugging me tightly.
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It feels warmer in her embrace 😢
Me : It feels so nice in your embrace 😢 Somehow, it makes me forgot how fragile my heart was.
She tightens the hugs and keeps patting my hair softly.
Eomma : Can you promise me something?😢
Me : *nod*
Eomma : Please come back to me when you are done with your treatment at Seoul 😢
Eomma : No matter what, please come back.
I break the hug and wipe my tears.
Me : I promise :')
Me : So ...
Me : Please don't cry when I'm not here.
Me : Seeing you cry like this breaks my heart. It hurt me so much.
I wipe her tears and smile.
Me : Can you do that for me? I'll come back. So, please trust me.
She just nods and keeps wiping her tears that are falling.
Me : Aigooo eomma!
Me : You are so ugly when crying.
Me : Please smile a bit.
Me : Please don't cry anymore if you want to get married again hehe.
I just chuckle at my own jokes and ended up getting a hit from her.
Eomma : Ya!
Eomma : *hit*
Eomma : How could you make a joke at a time like this?
Eomma : Yaish.
Eomma : Forget it. Let us have dinner together. Eomma had cooked your favorite food.
Me : REALLYYYYY?
Me : Eomma. You are the best! 👍🏻❤
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That's right.
Maybe, I don't have enough time but still, I have to keep trying and trying until I reach my limits.
I can't stop or give up now.
I need to keep trying and trying until my last breath.
I need to survive and I have to because there is someone precious who still needs me.
Okay!
I'll go to Seoul, met Dr.Yoo, and get my life.
Pray for me.
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