𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑 ❱ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔

nineteen.

"you have a terrible personality." he shook his head in disappointment.

"why thank you so much. if mine is terrible then yours must be ideal huh?." you sarcastically said with a smug look.

"u-um i think it's best to ask someone who knows dazai best." scoobydoo- atsushi as you remembered said, breaking up the tense situation.

"ah! thank you atsushi!" you snapped your fingers and sprinted back to the apartment, leaving everyone in shock.

"she remembered my name..." atsushi breathed out in relief as soon as you left.

when you reached the apartment, you quickly snatched your phone.

"what's wrong?" the familiar voice asked as they picked up their phone in a split second.

"chuuya bring your sexy ass here as soon as possible." you deadpanned and covered your ears, waiting for his yell to pass by until he gave the answer you wanted.

"fine." his gritted teeth could be heard through the speaker.

"oh please don't break the door this time." you nonchalantly said before ending the call.

after some time, he arrived with a knock on the door.

"is it about dazai?" he looked at you and you flinched.

"what did he do this time?" chuuya sighed.

"he wanted to separate from me for a while because of something that had happen, which i think is utter bullshit." your face became distorted as you tried to mask your anger.

"what happened?" he asked as you laid down on the floor, facing your body away from chuuya's stare and you told him everything that had happened the other day.

"so dazai hasn't told you yet..." chuuya huffed out a heavy sigh.

"he doesn't tell me anything." you crossed your arms angrily.

"it's a long story but i'll keep it short and simple..." chuuya's voice faded out as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"he had a girlfriend in the past and i guess it still bothered him about what had happened. he didn't even love her, but rather found interest in her being. she was a pretty unhappy person, but somehow fell in love with someone whom is infatuated with suicide itself. he asked her if she would die for him and she said she would. he told her to prove it and one day she..." chuuya gritted his teeth before continuing.

"she killed herself right in front of dazai and he felt a lot of regret since that day. that regret turned into what he denied but it was love. he realized he loved her after she had declared her feelings and i guess loving a new person is almost an unpleasant guilt." he eyed you before shutting his eyes.

"it's possible that she's been haunting him all this time but i'm not sure. he probably doesn't want you to get hurt so he told you guys to separate for some time, although he's the one hurting the most." he scoffed out as he stared at you.

"that dumbass." you gritted your teeth angrily and held back the urge to bang your head wall.

"do you know where he might be?" you looked at chuuya with high expectations.

"no but i'd probably look at the first place that comes to mind..." he mumbled in thought.

"well anyways he's probably dead for all we know or is trying to commit suicide at this very moment." he sighed with a shrug.

"he wouldn't kill himself or commit suicide..." you bit your lip in frustration.

"and how can you be so sure?" chuuya furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you as if you said something ridiculous.

"it's simply because i trust him." you stated as if it was the only answer valid to his question.

trust, that is, something hard to attain. you love dazai so trust came natural along the way.

the thought that trust must come before love isn't always true, for love and trust can arrive at the same moment. when love is given in this way, immediate, no explanations, the trust arrives too.

"why are you so eager in saving him?" chuuya questioned. although it was a question, it pissed you off.

since the first day you met dazai and saw the loneliness in his eyes, as if he wanted someone to take his hand when he's drowning and wanted someone who'd pick him up during his bad times, you felt like you had to save him, no needed to. you knew chuuya told you about a certain suicidal man, but you didn't want to save dazai because he asked you to, it felt like it was your responsibility as soon as you made eye contact with him.

his eyes were lonely, cold, and sad. it was as if they were dazai's only dependable friend. with a glance you could tell he didn't have someone he could rely on or someone who would stop him from tormenting himself and it made you sad at the time, even though you didn't know him.

he looked like he wanted to die, like he's wanting to die for a long time. it was like he didn't have anything that he looked forward to, as if he had absolutely nothing. the look of being tired of everything was written all over his face.

so, when he had asked you "would you be my savior that'll save me from myself?", the answer was a no brainer.

"why you ask...?" you asked with a tilted smile that surprised chuuya. the corners of your mouth lifted up into a smile as you stared at chuuya.

"don't all of us want to be saved by someone?"