A Taste of Sin (Sin #1)

XLII.

I turn my eyes down on the table, refusing to let him know what battle I am dealing with inside of my mind.

Alexander's halfway done with dinner when Amelia decides to bring a delicate theme - as it seems - up in her little blabbering. "Mummy, how are we going to name our sister?"

Rosalyn looks at her and I notice a slight panic written on her face. She casts a careful look in Alexander's direction who, apparently, decided to ignore us all yet again - as usual. "We haven't thought about it. It could be a brother, too, baby."

"I want to name her Zoe!" Amelia suddenly, unexpectedly says.

And as if she dropped a bomb on us, or right in the middle of the table, Alexander loudly puts the fork down on the table, staring at his sister like a wild mess.

A silence hugs us all at the table. The air instantly gets colder and the mood instantly gets awkward.

"You must be fucking kidding me!" Alexander says under his breath, still staring at his sister, his nostrils flaring in anger, I now notice.

I train my eyes on him and keep them there, trying to read why he reacted that way. This is not a simple reaction someone gets when their sister tells them a name she picked for her unborn sister.

And now, looking at Alfred and Rosalyn's faces, they're all pale and full of shock.

I feel so uncomfortable because I know they're sharing some secret I'm not a part of and it feels like I shouldn't even be here with them.

Alexander suddenly stands up and I turn my eyes back on him in a swift move. He's going through his hair with his hand. He looks so lost and so wild at this moment, I'm afraid he's going to do something to Amelia after the way he looked at her when those simple words left her mouth, but he simply turns on his heels and walks out of the room. I hear him go up the stairs.

Rosalyn and Alfred turned mute. And I just lose the appetite at this sudden tension in the room.

I stand up from the table. I don't think Alfred or Rosalyn even notice it. I think about taking Amelia out of the room, too, and leave the parents to deal with whatever shock Amelia's words brought to them, but then Rosalyn turns to her daughter and looks at her with all the love in the world she must feel for her.

"Sweetheart. We'll think about it, alright? There's still some time for that."

"But, Mummy!" Amelia protests. "I want Zoe!"

I leave the room at that because the air just got so thick I'm afraid I'll choke.

I don't know what makes me even think about doing it, but I go look for Alexander. For some reason, he really seemed shocked and distraught. It kind of made me feel some type of way. Sympathy. I feel sympathy. I don't know the reason as to why.

When I go upstairs and to my room, I see his door is tightly closed, which is nothing surprising. I decide on looking on the rooftop first because there's a bigger chance to find it out there than in his room.

And I am right.

He's standing on the rooftop. I see the smoke blowing out his mouth, both from the cigarette and the cold. If he keeps smoking so much, he's going to die at 30!

I silently climb out through my own window and stand next to him, looking forward to see the same as he does. There are only lights blinking up back in the darkness.

And now that I am here, I don't know what to say. I have so many questions for him, to which I doubt he'll give me answers to. And I'm afraid to ask these questions. Because I just don't know what to expect.

"You didn't have to come after me, you know," Alexander starts, breaking this silence between us.

I look at his profile, staring at him with big eyes. "What does the name Zoe mean to you?"

I watch how his expression changes. He closes his eyes, takes a sharp breath, his face closing off completely.

"A lot, Little one. That name means a lot to me." His voice is so lost, I'm not used to hearing him that torn.

I frown. I briefly think if this was his ex-girlfriend. It sure had to be someone very close to him and his family. I don't know who could mean so much to Alexander to be this torn apart just by hearing their name. "Who was she, Alexander?" I ask directly.

Alexander throws his head back and looks up at the sky. "Do you ever ask yourself what's up there, Little one?"

He decides to ignore my question. And I decide I'll play his game this time. I look up at the stairs, too. "Often. And whatever that is, I know it's better than down here."

I look at the millions - billions of stars blinking down at us - two lost souls, admiring their beauty. It's so effortlessly beautiful and I think that makes it that more special.

"It must be. Perhaps that's why angels rather go up there than stay down here."

I turn my head to look at him now. "What do you mean?" I whisper, afraid of even asking.

"Sometimes, Little one, as crazy as this sounds, when I look up at the stars, I focus on that one particular blinking star and I think that it might be my little sister, waving down at me."

I blink at him. Rapidly. It seems that my brain can't process his words. "What?"

Alexander looks at me now. His face looks peaceful now. "My sister, Gabrielle. She was born as an angel for this Earth, who was after killed by the devil himself. I killed my sister, Gabrielle."

STORY TIME! Oh, wait. It's a cliffhanger. Again. I'm sorry! 

I just want to thank you all for how much recognition this story got this week. It came up to #7 place in Teen Fiction, can you BELIEVE? And it's you who did all that! 

So, yeah, this week's been hectic on wattpad and I loved every second. I love that you love my work!! 

Happy Sunday, loves. See you on Wednesday with a new chapter ;) 

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