Having A Place

Karen

"Well, um, I don't know. I guess I had always had feelings for him" I said not really sure how to answer that. I had always had feelings for Jimi. I just could never do anything about it until I divorced Mark.

"But, what does it feel like? To have feelings for someone?" she asked.

"Well, when I was around your Dad, my heart always started racing and my hands would get clammy. I struggled to find words to say when I was around him." I listed with a smile.

"Does it still feel that way?" she asked.

"Yeah, it does. Except for the speech thing" I said and giggled.

"How did you tell him how you felt?" she asked. I think she's asking more for advice rather than just wanting to know.

"Well, we were living together for a few months after my divorce since I had nowhere to go. We became really close. One night we were sitting on the couch and I kissed him" I said. Her eyes widened.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Seriously" I said with a smile.

"What did he do?" she asked intrigued.

"He told me he loved me" I said and she smiled. We sat in silence for a second.

"Why do you ask?" I asked her, wanting to know why she was so curious.

"Well...umm... You know Josh right?" she asked slowly. I knew it was about a boy.

"I do" I said and nodded for her to continue.

"Well, I think he's really cute and I think I like him. We've hung out a lot in groups and stuff, but I don't know if he likes me and I don't know what to do" she said.

"Well, the only way to find out is to talk to him" I said, but I don't think she liked that response.

"What am I supposed to say to him?"

"Maybe find out what he's interested in and see if you guys have anything in common and take it from there" I said hoping that will help a little.

"Okay" she said with a nod.

A few minutes later, we heard Jimi come inside. I went to go see what he was up to and Emma followed.

"Emma, you got a letter" he said as he was sorting the mail. He handed it to her and she looked at the envelope.

"Who's it from?" I asked.

"I don't know, there's no name on the return address. It's just the address" she said and opened it. She pulled the letter out and started reading it. She looked angry. When she was done, she threw it in the trash and ran up to her room. I'm a little worried.

"What do you think that was about?" Jimi asked and I shrugged my shoulders. I pulled the letter out of the trash and read it.

My dearest Emma,

I hope that you had a wonderful birthday. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I don't know where to start so I'm just going to start writing.

I grew up just outside of Franklin. I came from a very strict home with very over protective parents. There were lots and lots of rules. I always obeyed the rules while I was growing up. I was very sheltered and didn't get to see much of the world. I only saw what my parents showed me. When I was 16, I had my first real boyfriend. He was a year older than me. He showed me that there is more to the world. I started rebelling against my parents. The biggest thing I did that set them off was coming home pregnant at 16. They thought I was throwing my life away. I begged to differ because it brought me you. My parents wanted me to get an abortion and tried to force me to go to the doctor. I made quiet the scene at the doctor's office let me tell you. They said they weren't giving me an unwanted abortion so we left. That really ticked my parents of because having a baby at 16 was not part of their plan for me. The plan they created without me. They went to a lawyer and got all the necessary forms to sign my parental rights away. I of course didn't want to, but they eventually convinced me that it would be in everyone's best interest to give you up for adoption. My parents told me they were looking for a family to give you to. Little did I know, they were only saying that so I would sign the papers.