A Taste of Sin (Sin #1)

XXXVII.

It helps to have people like Sam by my side. Especially when I see how Sam is still outgoing and unbothered by everything. If anything, I believe it only made her stronger and her skin thicker. I'll strive for that.

Sam comes out of the car to greet me. "Hey, babe. Ready?" she asks.

I nod my head and give her a smile.

"Are you completely sure you want to go? Because if you don't want to, you know you don't have to," she says with a low, sincere voice, looking me directly in the eyes while doing so.

"I'm sure, Sam," I reassure her. Ryder will not make me hide these last months I'm here. Besides, he's currently not physically capable of being there since Alexander shot him in his leg.

I still don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I'm happy he didn't actually kill him, but ... did he really need to shoot him? I believe Alexander holds a grudge for Ryder because of their past but was I really worth him to put himself in that risk?

Sam wraps her arm around my shoulders and we go to the car. Snake's driving and he greets me with a nod. I nod back at him, too.

The drive there feels like forever. It's filled with loud music and lots of singing, especially on Sam's part. Snake is mostly just laughing at Sam, joining her sometimes. They look cute. Even though Sam says they're not really a couple, I see the way Snake looks at her. It's like he has everything he's ever wished for sitting right next to him. It's like she's his whole world.

My heart aches. I stare out of the window, keeping a smile on my face, making me yearn to feel this at least once in my life, too.

The other reason why the drive feels so long is that I'm filled with anticipation. I wonder what's it going to be like, what's going to happen and I try really hard not to start panicking. I also have a feeling that I might be a burden for Sam and Snake tonight because I think they feel obligated to babysit me.

And when we come there, I'm instantly in a better mood, just admiring the scene in front of me. It's not hard to spot the bonfire in the distance, even though there's a mass of people gathered around it. It's really big and beautiful.

I've never seen a bonfire before. I know it might sound funny, but I was a very anti-social person back in France. I never went out because I didn't have anyone to go with.

We don't go into the crowd, though. We go meet Alexander and his crew as Sam says, who I now see it sitting under some old trees, smoking and drinking. I count 10 of them and 7 of them are guys, Alexander among them. How great.

Alexander sits with his back to us when we come there, but as if he senses us coming, he turns around and his eyes immediately find me. I'm not able to hold his stare so I just lower my eyes, looking down at the ground, uncomfortable.

I'm still not over what happened between us that night Ryder kidnapped me. And I'm still not over how he reacted to it in the morning.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see him standing up, but I still don't look at him. I don't dare to. "Sam. A word."

I probably look like an idiot, looking down at my shoes like I'm admiring them. Also, his voice sends a rush down my body. It makes me shudder just hearing it. And I instantly hate myself that I get that reaction when being somewhere near him.

Alexander drags Sam with him. I hear her mutter, "What the hell does he want now," under her breath and I have to smile at that.

Now that Alexander's not in the circle anymore, I'm finally able to look at everyone. Only to see they're all staring at me in silence and wonder. My cheeks paint into ten different shades of red. It's awkward. And now I don't know where to look.