Love and Tragedy Through Her Eyes

April 21st, 2011 

     There I was, sitting at a funeral service with a cooling sweat sliding down my spine.  “Don’t cry, just don’t” ran through my head as I cracked my knuckles.  Not knowing how this would alter my life frightened me but I tried not to think about it.  However, I wasn’t alone.  My best friend gripped my hand tightly and whenever I shed a tear, his heart sank even more. 

Five months earlier: 

     Charlotte is my name, I was an awkward thirteen year old living in the city of Grand Rapids, MI.  I had chopped up, dark blonde hair, crooked teeth and a red, acne filled face. These insecurities didn’t mean I wasn’t beautiful.  Who looks like a super model when they are going through puberty anyways?  

     “I just don’t look good with long hair, please stop trying to convince me to grow it out” I annoyingly said to Maya.  Maya was my tall, shy, and weird cousin who was my best friend for as long as I could remember.  I guess I shouldn’t call her weird, but to me she was because of all the nerdy, immature things we did together.  Maya and I didn’t drink, party, or get pregnant at the age of 12, we just wanted to have good old fashioned fun if I should even call it that.  Putting facials on our legs, prank calling our old crushes, dressing up and taking odd pictures, wearing ridiculous makeup, and dancing in our grandma’s basement till 6 am.  That’s what made us happy.

     Maya and I were all about boys, what thirteen year old girls aren’t obsessed with boys?  As awkward as it sounds, it’s true.  Conceded but could lure you in like a frosted cupcake, yeah that was Cory.  Maya was obsessed with him but would come to realize he wasn’t the one for her.  He just enjoyed the fact that 4 out of every 5 girls he talked to, drooled over him.  I admit it, I used to like Cory as well (yuck) ; however, I moved on from that and met someone who would change my life more than I realized.

     His name was Joseph.  You could see the kindness in his deep brown eyes.  He had short and shiny brunette hair.  His height? Well it seemed like almost everyone was taller than me.  On the outside, everything about him was beautiful.  The inside I didn’t really know about though.  But, this boy was four years older than I, yes I did just say FOUR years older.  In adult years, that isn’t that big of a difference but teen years!? You get the picture.  

     I met him at Church, sounds like I was just going to Church to meet boys, huh?  No, not at all.  I started going to the Church’s youth group when I was 12.  Joseph went there every Wednesday, I never spoke to him, I was either interrupted by his friends or my face was so red I didn’t want him to see it.  But, in my heart I knew that I was going to marry that boy no matter how stupid anybody thought I was.

     I was home schooled since the age of 10 by my mom who was happily married to my dad for more than twenty years now.  I guess you could say I had two great role models when it comes to relationships.  

     I heard about the popular site “Myspace” (yeah I know, its stupid now) but at that time, it was a must have so I decided to create an account.  As I was looking for friends to add, my heart jumped because I saw that Joseph had an account.  I contemplated adding him, thinking about every little thing he might think about me “why is she trying to be my friend? I don’t even know her that well.”  But I figured I’d take a chance and send him a friend request.  Days turned into weeks waiting for him to accept my request…he finally did.  This gave me courage that he did know I existed.