Look With Your Heart and Not with Your Eyes- Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction

Chapter Vingt Et Un: Un rêve

I sat up in bed... it had all been a dream, I never came out of this room.  It was now the sixth day I had myself locked up in here.  I never walked out of here and talked to Erik.  I never sang with Erik.  I never told him I loved him... he never said he loved me.  I scream in frustration and anger.  I jump out of bed and walk over to the last unbroken mirror in the room. 

Throwing the curtain covering it off I yell at my reflection, "Of course it was a dream!  No one could love you!  You-you monster!  He will never love you! Your a monster!  A burden!  A mistake!"  I take a candle stick and try to smash it but something stops me; a strong arm grabs my arm and takes it out of my hand.

Erik's voice whispers into my ear, "Hailey don't, please don't."

I was about to collapse in his arms but my hand brushes on my face and I jump away from him.  I place my hand over my face and run over to my mask quickly putting it on.  I ignore the pain on my face like a hot iron and turn towards Erik giving him a glare.  "What Erik?"

He looks over at me blankly probably seeing the pain that I was trying to hide from the burning on my face.  My face has only burned once before.  "I came here to check on you.  You haven't came out for almost a week.  What ever is wrong?  I can tell in your eyes, you are hurting?  Is it because of me?  Please Hailey tell it isn't from me!"

I shake my head and brush past him walking out of the room and towards the organ.  I haven't played in almost a week and I needed to now before I screamed.  I felt myself wanting to sing for Erik the song I sang in my dream but I couldn't get myself to.  I hardly was able to walk by the time I got to the organ because the burning pain got worse.  What was happening to me?  "No Erik.  I am not in pain b-because of y-you."

Erik stands behind me where I sit at the organ looking at me intensely trying to figure me out, "Why are you in pain, and do not lie to me I have come to know when you are lying."

I was in too much pain to lie because I ended up saying the truth to him.  Dropping my head into my hands I say, "E-Erik.... R-remember when m-my face b-burnt like hot wax or i-iron was being pressed on it?  T-that is how it is n-now..."

Erik quickly picked me  up bridal style and carried me to a couch and looked me deep in the eyes once sitting next to me.  "Hailey let me see."

I shook my head and cowered back.

"Hailey let me see," he said sternly.  "I have already seen it, it isn't as back as you think."

I looked at him wide eyed then whispered, "O-okay."

He nodded and reached up towards my mask, on instinct I flinched but didn't stop him.  His gentle hand grips my mask gently and takes it off placing it beside him.  He looks at me in the eyes and then looks at my face.  His gently hands stroke the side that was covered then he quickly gets up and leaves the room.  I feel tears come to my eyes... he left, he was scared, disgusted and left.  

Erik quickly runs back in with a box in his hand.  He sees my tears and wipes them away, "Oh Hailey, I didn't leave you.  I went to grab something.  I wouldn't leave you... your beautiful." 

I sat there frozen, "W-what did you just say?"

His eyes widen realizing he just said that out loud, "I... uh..."

I jolted up in my bed.  Damn that was a dream too.  What is not a dream?  Everything that I think is real is not.  I grabbed my mask and pinched myself making sure this was not too a dream, I was safe, it was not a dream.  Finally I am sure something is not a dream.

I tied my cloak on and decided to finally come out of the room.  I made sure my mask was on correctly and walked out into the main part of the lair.  Sticking to the shadows I walked out.  I saw Erik sitting slouched in front of the organ his head in his hands. I sunk deeper into the shadows and watched his slouched form.  I noticed the slight shake of his shoulders and how his hands seemed to grip at his face more than just covering it.  Did I do this to Erik?  Did I really make him feel so betrayed that he cried?  But he betrayed me as well, he took away the one thing I did not want him to know, my weakness, he took my mask off when I did not want him to.  But did I truly make him cry?  Was he sad that I left or afraid of me?  I take another step back but my bare foot kicks a stack of books making them fall with a loud noise. 

I wince when I see Erik's head shoot up and look around the lair searching for me.  He stands up his face set straight so it did not look like he was crying, but I knew he was.  He was still wearing what he was wearing the night he saw my face but so was I.  His shirt was wrinkled and his hair was wild on his head.  He walks over in my direction but I move out of the way when he gets close.  He turns and tries to grab at me, a slight smile appears on lips.  This reminded me of a week ago when he found me on the roof, before he cleaned my face which was caked with blood.  Erik looses his balance for a second and I use this to my advantage and push him over with my foot.  He jumps up and blows a piece of hair that fell in him face out of the way.  

He looked quite adorable when he did this, he looked like a young boy who got annoyed with a younger sibling when he did this.  I jumped back when he jumped up with a fire in his eyes and leaned in the direction of me.  His hand almost grazes my midsection but I jump back.  I see what he is trying to do, he is trying to make me step out of the shadows.  He fooled me once, he is not going to do it again.  

"Erik your not going to get me to step out if that is what you are trying to do," it comes out like a growl and I wince, I did not want it to sound like that.

Erik stops and steps away, "So you are here."

I smirk and laugh lowly, "Well if I wasn't you would look quite silly."

"Yeah, I guess I would," he says before walking away from me towards a small sitting area in the back corner of the lair.

I follow him but stay in the shadows, so he still cannot see me, "Erik..."

He stops and turns around to face me, "Yes?"

I stop in my tracks as well and look into his glowing gold eyes, "Did I not leave my room this whole week?"

Erik looked at me in confusion, "Y-yes.  Why do you ask?"

I shook my head, it was really a dream, "I- never mind, I was just wondering."

He looked at me with questioning eyes and asked, "Why do you really ask?  Do not lie to me I have come to know when you are lying."

I shuttered and stepped away, that is what he said exactly in my dream, "I-I."

"What's wrong Hailey?"

"Nothing Monsieur... How can you stand to be near me and talk to me when you saw my face, when I hurt you," I ask looking down at my bare feet.

He walks over to me so we are only a few feet apart, "Your face does not matter to me Mademoiselle, for I can see the beauty underneath."

~~~~La beauté en dessous.~~~