Chapter 21

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"You doing okay?" I glance over at the trembling teen beside me, her pissed-off look telling me everything I need to know. "Sorry I asked." I don't get a laugh out of this, but Cami lets me take her hand, which I give a gentle squeeze. "You know it's all going to be fine, right? I'll be there the whole time. Or not-whatever you want me to do."

"Camille?" Cami's already vice-like grip on my hand tightens as we both look up at the nurse wearing blue scrubs with what look like dancing teddy bears on them. I'm waiting for Cami to make the first move, indicating to me that she's not as uncomfortable as she seems, when the nurse's shrill voice sounds through the waiting room again.

"Camille Beckett?" This time I sigh and stand up, bringing with me a clipboard full of forms and a very reluctant 16-year-old. To her credit, Cami allows her height and weight to be taken without a fight, though I see her flinch when the nurse clicks her tongue as she records her weight. We're led to an exam room, and the nurse pulls me aside as she ushers Cami in.

"Her chart indicates that there's a history of abuse?" I nod hesitantly, not sure if she's looking for an answer. "Okay. We're gonna go ahead and follow protocol for that. Would she be more comfortable with a male or female doctor? I don't hesitate this time.

"Female. Definitely." The nurse makes another note on her clipboard, then opens the door, barring me from entry.

"Hang on, Camille's over 15 so she has to give permission for you to be in the room. I'm gonna go ask her now." I roll my eyes a little at this, but let her pass me. She opens the door about 30 seconds later and beckons me inside, and I resist the urge to shoot her a side eye. Cami's standing in the middle of the unnecessarily cheerful exam room, digging at the skin around her right index finger and seemingly trying to memorize the pattern of sea creatures that borders the room right under the ceiling. At the nurse's prompting, Cami reluctantly climbs onto the exam table. I ignore the chair that's offered to me, choosing to stand by Cam and hold her (now freezing cold) hand.

The exam is not as painful as I think either of us imagined it would be. The doctor is a sweet and soft-handed woman who insists we call her Allison and reminds me more than a little bit of Renée, instantly easing some of my fears. She explains each step of the physical as she does it, and asks Cami for permission each time she touches her. Cami is by no means relaxed, but she seems to have let her guard down a little bit, answering Allison's questions about dance and school with apparent ease. She even allows me to step outside for a minute so Allison can speak to her privately. Having finished her thorough examination, Allison sits in her swivel chair and starts entering numbers into the computer.

"Okay...everything looks good, though I would like to see you gain 8 or 9 pounds, Cami. You're a little underweight, especially considering your age." Cami shoots a panicked look at me, but we'd talked about this last night and I know she knows the plan. Calmly and checking in with Cam every few seconds, I fill Allison in on the whole deal with food, paraphrasing Cami's words from a couple of nights ago. Allison, thankfully, doesn't bat an eye, but grabs a sticky note and hands it to me after scribbling something down.

"That brand makes meal replacement shakes. They're about 300 calories, and taste fairly good. They're a good supplemental option for kids with eating disorders." Beside me, Cami flinches at the words "eating disorder," but I know Allison's not incorrect in labeling it as such. "The number on there is for an adolescent psychiatrist in midtown who's really, really great. It wouldn't be a bad idea to see about getting something to help with your anxiety, and I think that could help with eating as well." She's directly addressing Cami now, but she's switched her focus to intensely fiddling with my watch, and refuses to make eye contact with the doctor.

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