Smart Girl

02.01.17

or when no one seems to believe you when you say you're depressed.

"but you have everything a student could want!" a friend exclaimed. geography was fairly boring that day. with a two-hour early release schedule, everything was shorter, save fourth period and lunch. "you're so smart. i'm so jealous of you, wren, because i'll have taken the practice test like a thousand times, and you'll still get a better grade than me on the test, even if you only take it like a hundred times."

"it kinda sucks," i wanted to say, but instead just said, "i haven't been able to do it but 31 times so far, since i've been dealing with mental health issues."

for a second, her face goes blank, then annalise said, "really? oh gosh, wren." she offered me a hug, and an awkward one, at that. frankly, i wanted to just curl into myself and disappear. "if you need someone to talk to, text me."

of course, maybe i would be able to buck up and talk to her, if only i felt safe telling her about something like that. with all of her preconceived ideas of me she seems to have, it feels dangerous to pop that facade of perfection that she sees in me.