The Guidance Counselor

She's Back

It's hard to say who was more surprised by the kiss, because almost as quickly as Camila reciprocated, it ended. Both of them froze and then Lauren jumped back while Camila's eyes were wide.

"Fuck," Lauren groaned, collapsing back on Camila's bed, her head hitting the pillow behind her while her hands moved to cover her face.

At the same time that the word left Lauren's mouth Camila mumbled an inaudible, "Shit." They both just laid there with enough space between them so they weren't touching, but after a what felt like forever Camila spoke, still staring at her ceiling. "I thought you couldn't-"

"I can't," Lauren whispered as her hands fell to her sides and when she felt her hand brush Camila's she quickly pulled it away and rested it across her own stomach. "You're not eighteen and I'm your guidance counselor."

"I thought you weren't a real guidance counselor?" Camila asked shyly.

"I'm not, but for as long as I'm employed at Palmetto there are rules," Lauren told her, still not daring to look over at Camila.

"So that was a mistake?" Camila questioned.

"Mistake, no. Wrong, yes."

"I'm sorry," Camila said as she rolled onto her side and  used her elbow to prop herself up, her head leaning on her hand as she peered down at Lauren who just shut her eyes to avoid Camila's gaze.

"I kissed you," Lauren reminded her. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I kissed you back," Camila said pointedly.

"You make me feel like I'm twenty-two," Lauren said finally opening her eyes to find Camila looking at her with a sweet smile. 

"You are twenty-two," Camila giggled and Lauren couldn't help the smile that was crossing her face.

"I know, but my whole life people have treated me like I am older than I am," Lauren mirrored Camila, moving so her elbow was on the pillow and her head was propped up on her hand as she faced the smaller girl. "I have never felt my age, but you make me feel like it's okay to be a regular person. Don't get me wrong, I like my life, I think it's worked out for me pretty well so far, sometimes it's just-"

"Lonely?" Camila responded knowingly and Lauren nodded slightly. "Don't pull away," She whispered as she sat up and leaned in closer to Lauren.

"Camila we can't," Lauren warned, but Camila wasn't backing down.

"One day," she told her. "One day is all I'm asking for and then we can go back to being whatever it was we were before you showed up at my house. Student and guidance counselor or friends or whatever, but just give us one day."

There was a lump in Lauren's throat and she managed to swallow it just in time to dodge Camila's kiss. She pushed her self up so she was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her fingers fumbling with the edge of Camila's blanket. "I'm sorry," Lauren whispered.

"Why can't we just have today?" Camila said and Lauren's head snapped up to see that Camila had tears in her eyes. "I'm not good enough for you am I?"

"Camila," Lauren breathed, shuffling herself closer to the girl. "You are more than good enough," Lauren said honestly. "It's just if we start, I don't know if I'll be able to stop and-"

"And your job is important."

"You're important too," Lauren sighed as she pulled Camila in for a hug. "Please stop hurting yourself, please."

"It's don't think I can," Camila whispered and Lauren just shook her head and let her own tears fall at the sound of Camila's broken voice.

"Call me, call me anytime you think you're going to, I don't care if it's three in the morning or three in the afternoon, you call me and I'll come or I'll talk you down," Lauren said pulling back and resting her forehead against Camila's.