Heart Attack | Jerrie

1 | Hatred

"See you tonight, mum.", Perrie shouted and went to school. Her mother was always working, which is why they only saw each other in the evening. For Perrie it was kind of normal. But that didn't mean she was okay with it. When she was ten, her father left her and her mother and since then her mother had been working non-stop. Perrie was used to it by now, but it still hurt her everytime she'd have the urge to talk to her mother, her mother was at work or with friends. Perrie was an only child, which made it even harder for her. For the past seven years, she was alone. Everday like a daily routine. At least she saw her mother every morning, even if it was only for ten minutes. It was better than not seeing her at all. Still there were some things Perrie'd like to talk about, but she had no one to talk to. Not really.

Perrie didn't have any friends. Well, except her childhood friend Leigh-Anne. They were basically best friends, but Perrie had been very distanced for a long time now. Leigh had no idea what was going on, but she knew that something was off. Something had been off for seven years now. It just got worse. Leigh-Anne tried many times to get Perrie to talk, but Perrie wouldn't give in. Perrie's best friend was worried sick. It seemed like they were about to lose each other.

Perrie was at her locker right now. No one noticed her, as usual. It didn't bother Perrie actually. She was a loner, but in a natural way. She loved being alone and for herself. The blonde didn't like to be around a lot of people.

Jade was the opposite.

Jade was the popular girl in school and she liked it. She was nice to everyone and she talked to everyone. At least, that was what she thought. The brunette and the blonde have never seen each other nor talked to each other. Not even once. Yes, Perrie heard something about a girl named Jade, since Leigh talked about her sometimes, but she had no idea who it was or what she looked like. Perrie didn't really care either. She only knew Jade was a friend of Leigh's.

Jade had a perfect familyhood. Parents that loved her and a great brother that would protect her no matter what. Perrie couldn't say the same. Jade had many friends, Jesy was her best friend, and many people had a crush on her. All the teachers liked her because she was very smart and educated. She was basically the perfect human being. The teachers barely even know Perrie's name. And it wasn't because she didn't participate in the lessons, she did. It was the fact that the teachers didn't seem to bother who that blonde girl in the right corner was. Perrie was a really shy person, which she hasn't always been though. There where a few things that were bothering Perrie and her mind which made her the way she was now. Jade on the other hand was very outgoing and she loved being around a lot of people. Though, she'd rather have a night in instead of going out.

"Hey, buddy.", Leigh said as she saw Perrie at her locker. "How are you doing?"

"Same as always. We should get going. Class starts in ten.", Perrie mumbled. Leigh only nodded and followed Perrie to math class. 

When they arrived, they quickly sat down on their seats. While Leigh was talking to some boys, Perrie was preparing herself for the lesson. That was, until Leigh tipped on her shoulder.

Perrie turned around to face her childhood friend, "Yeah?"

"Chris is throwing a massive party tonight, do you wanna come?", Leigh asked with a nervous smile. She just hoped her best friend would say yes for once. 

But of course, Perrie wasn't going to do that, "Sorry, I already have plans with my mum." This was a lie, but the blonde would rather eat a snake than going to one of those dumb partys.

Leigh nodded understanding, "Oh, that's alright. Maybe next time."

Perrie nodded slowly while thinking 'rather not'. It wasn't that she felt guilty, she did. She and Leigh haven't done anything together for the past three weeks or even almost a month. And Perrie knew Leigh just wanted to get the blonde out for the house so she could finally get to know some people. Perrie used to love going out, but that's why the used is in there. As in not anymore. The teacher arrived the moment Perrie turned around to face the board. He greeted the pupils and started the lesson. Perrie wrote everything she needed to know down as usual.

It was a normal school day for Perrie. Nothing new, nothing interesting. She couldn't wait to get home. Her mum wouldn't be home, but Perrie was actually happy about that. She loved her mother but there were times where Perrie would get grounded or shouted at just because her mum had a bad day. She never really cared for Perrie anyway. At least as far as Perrie could remember. It got worse when her father left them, but it wasn't that different either. It was Friday and on Fridays Perrie's mum usually drove to friends and stayed there for the weekend. Perrie was okay with that, because that meant she'd get the alone time she needed. After today, she really needed some alone time. Because the day might have been okay but there were still little voices in her head that were haunting her mind the whole day.

For the rest of the school day, Leigh-Anne didn't really pay attention to Perrie, which hurt Perrie. Sure, the blonde knew it was her own fault, but it still hurt. After what happened with her Dad, she didn't like it when other people acted as if she wasn't there or didn't care enough to talk to her. It made her feel alone and useless. And she didn't like feeling useless. It might sound selfish in some ways, because Perrie could have easily talked to Leigh, but she didn't want to feel like she had to talk to her friend, like she had to get her friends attention. Friends should automatically look out for each other in their own right? Considering the things Perrie was feeling  the first thing she did after coming home from school was throwing herself on her bed while crying. She hated herself for being so weak. Perrie didn't like being weak nor feeling weak.

After good twenty minutes of crying, Perrie calmed down and looked into the mirror. She didn't like what was in front of her. She never liked her face or her body. She thought of herself as ugly and not worth anybodys time. Why would someone be interested in her anyway right? Perrie kept looking at her mirror reflection and it slowly disgusted her, which is why she went down into the living room. The blonde didn't want to do anything. She just wanted to lay down on the couch and don't do anything. Which she, in the end, did. 

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A/N

So this is my new Jerrie fanfiction.. I don't know when I'll uptade next because I'm planning on writing long chapters with, at least, 2,500 words. This one is going to be different to my others, but I can't wait for you to read it because I feel like this story could be really great :) Please, tell me what you think and maybe you tell me what you think in what kind of direction this story is going to go :)