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Phil wakes up, spooning his pillow under the sheets. Phil hit the snooze for the second time before sitting up straight in his bed. Phil never had trouble waking up, especially after waking up with a hangover from the night before.

Dan managed to wake up just thirty seconds before the annoying beeping rings in the small room. Dan doesn't yawn or groan at the early sunlight shining through the thin blinds. He sits up and opens his phone that was once under the pillow.

Daniel Howell: good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept better than I did.

Philip Lester: it was the worst

Phil half-reads the message from Dan, sending his and pulling the sheets up. At least it's a Sunday, a lazy day.

Daniel Howell: you have all day to catch up, love

Philip Lester: sadly I can not

Daniel Howell: its Sunday?

Philip Lester: correct,,but I have things to do about my flat

Daniel Howell: save it for later. Talk to me

Philip Lester: nothing to talk about lol

Daniel Howell: tell me how you've been?

Philip Lester: I'm gonna go daniel, talk later 

Daniel Howell: I love you, phil 

philip lester is now offline, he will receive your message when he returns.


Phil closed his laptop after logging out. He didn't feel like talking to the younger male today, he didn't feel like doing anything today. Phil knew he wouldn't be able to feel better without talking to someone about how he feels, but all he knows about Dan is he's seen him at least twice in the grocery and never once came up and approached him. For all Phil knew, Dan could be watching Phil's every move right now through cameras hidden in his apartment. Phil was too emotionally tired to actually search anything in the apartment, if he was being watched he hoped the guy was enjoying watching the lad cry in the comfort of his sheets.

Dan worried for Phil. He worried maybe he did scare the lad off. Maybe the few times Dan didn't approach Phil in public was enough to scare him into someone else's arms. The worst nightmare Dan could've faced, thinking that Phil was off with another man or woman telling them the words Dan only could dream of hearing from him. 

Phil didn't know if he wanted another being sharing every space he had. Phil didn't believe Dan loved him. Phil believed Dan was say the words to other souls just for the soul purpose of hurting him. Phil actually Dan was just someone from high school or University who made a fake account to watch him crash and burn. Phil was too smart to let anyone in his life, he wasn't ready for another sad, unwanted goodbye. Phil didn't want to let someone in just so he could be left in shambles on the shower floor again. 

The truth was Phil was scared. 

Dan was also very much afraid, but for a different reason then Phil. 

Phil was afraid of falling in love.

Dan was scared of losing the one he was falling for. Stupid, he guessed, for falling for someone before he had even had conversation with the guy, before he even knew Phil's first name. 

Dan lived by his grandma's words before he passed, "don't let fear get in the way of something beautiful." Dan knew that she meant something like his love. Dan knew that his something beautiful was Phil. 

Phil knew that the only thing beautiful in his life was eventually he'll die, and leave this world of cruelity and disappointment. 

Dan wanted to be the one Phil could open up to and laugh with. 

And deep down, Phil wanted Dan to his companion where he knew he could trust him, but Phil also knew deep down that everything good must come to an end. Phil wasn't ready for his and Dan's ending. 



short but an update....I really hope this phanfic doesn't flop lmao and I hope all of you enjoy this story and my other d&p fics that are coming soon :)

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