Peeta: in the arena with Prim

Chapter 3

I glance up and see my brother standing before me. I try to dry my tears, but fail miserably. He gives me a sideways glance.

"Are you here to make fun of me for crying?" I blurt out, overwhelmed with everything going on.

"No. I came to say goodbye." Pause. "Listen, Peeta. You're strong, you can lift 100 pound bags of flour. You're pretty quick, use that. And Peeta, stay strong."

"Thanks." I muster. He gives me a quick hug and exits the room. I sit back down and try to take control of my feelings. I touch my face, and it's hot. I must be red from crying. Just as I get the tears to finally slow, my mother walks in.

"Shes cute, she'll get sponsors. Maybe District 12 will finally have a winner," Mother says. I just glare at her. What about me? I'm about to speak out, but decide against it. I realize she's right. Anyone would feel bad for a small, innocent, cute little girl in the arena. Not so much for a 16 year old boy.

Mother gives me a crooked smile, and pats me on the back. She starts to exit, then gives me one last look as she exits the room and quietly shuts the door behind her. As I wait for Father, I sit back down and bite my nails. I've never felt so anxious for company in my entire life. As if on cue, Father enters. He always knows how to cheer me up.

"Hey," He says in a soothing tone.

"Hi," I whisper as my father sits down next to me. I look up at him, and he pats my back. I'm trying with all that I have in me not to cry. It's a hard task that after a few seconds I can't manage anymore. I start balling, and my father wraps his comforting arms around me.

"Father, what...am I...going to do?" I ask between tears. I try to talk with him more, but the tears don't stop.

"It's okay, son. Let it out," he says in a soothing voice.

And so I do. We sit together in silence as I cry. He starts to tell me something as peacekeepers come in and drag him out.

"Son! I love you!" He shouts as they take him away. I start to get up and go to him, but the door slams and I can hear a peacekeeper watching guard. I sigh and go back to the plush couch in the corner of the room.

I know I still have a few minutes to myself, for everyone close to me has said goodbye. I allow myself to cry some more, but try to slow the tears. I stand back up and walk to the door, in fear of how I may appear to the other tributes. Weak. Upset. Suddenly it doesn't matter and I continue in my crying. I wait and cry at the same time. Is this process meant to be so terrible? I try to focus on the good side of my situation, but I draw a complete blank. So once again, I'm alone in this horrible room, waiting to be whisked away. But instead of peacekeepers summoning me, in walks an unexpected visitor. Katniss.

She takes one look at the state I'm in and I can tell she's reconsidering why she came in here. Wait. Why did she come in here?! I'm suddenly very embarrassed, wiping my tears away on the back of my hands. It's no use. It's obvious that I'd been upset. So I give up and meet her gaze. We stand in silence for a few moments, then she finally speaks.

"Peeta-" Long Pause. "Please. Please keep Prim safe. I know you have to survive, and I get that. But please try to protect for a little while! Please, Peeta. I need her. She's the most important thing in the world to me. I can't let her go..." As soon as she says this, she looks down at her shoes. I stare at her blankly.

"Katniss.. I w-" I stutter, but she cuts me off.

"And Peeta. If-"she chokes down her emotions. "If Prim doesn't win..it has to be you."

I'm speechless. I gawk at her for a long time. I don't know what to say to her. I don't know what she wants to hear, either.

"Why Katniss? I never thought you noticed me." I mumble to her, trying to avoid her beautiful, mysterious grey eyes. Even though I know it's true, it's painful to admit, especially to her.

"I never... I never made it up to you. Peeta, you don't think I think about the bread? Because I do. Everyday. Peeta- I can't forget that. Ever. You never forget the face of the person who was your last hope."

Wow. I really thought that event was long gone in her eyes. I guess not. I turn to face her, unsure of why she is even saying this. Why did she even bother coming to talk to me? I want to help her in any way that I can. I think about how I burned a long, fluffy amount of bread on purpose to feed her starving belly. Everyday, just like her, I replay it in my mind. That's the hardest my mother had ever hit me. But in my mind, it was worth it. She was worth it. And suddenly I realize: Katniss is my purpose to fight in these games. I must fight to get back to her. I must fight for her. For her. Right here and now I make a promise to myself: If I don't win, Prim will. She must. And I will make sure of that. I come to the sudden realization that I may never see Katniss again. I need to tell her how I feel. And this may be my last chance.

"Katniss?" I ask her, more nervous now than going to the Reaping this morning.

She turns to me and we lock eyes, so I know that I have her full attention.

"Look," I start. "I need to tell you something. This is probably the last time I will ever see you. And I just want you to know that..I really-"

"Time to go!" Peacekeepers intrude upon us and take her away.

"Katniss!" I say as the door slams in my face.

"I love you," I whisper to the door. I go back to the couch and wait until I'm being taken through a large crowd of people to the train that will escort us to the Capitol. As we go, I pass many familiar faces. I pass my schoolmates, former teachers, and my family. They all stare at me and then glance away, as if to say many things: good luck, I'm sorry, and goodbye. As I step into the train, the blinding sun and the world as I know it slowly fade away as the door slides to a close.