Burned {h.s. / n.h.}

Chapter 18

-- Charlie --

I close the door behind me softly so as not to wake Niall from his peaceful slumber in my bed. His blond hair stands out among the mass of gray comforter sprawled out over him, keeping him warm and safe. I stare at him for a moment longer to remember the way he sleeps, taking little notes in my head and mental pictures. His lips are slightly parted and his breathing is deep. One arm lies curled to his side, the other tucked under the down feather pillow.

I like the way he sleeps.

By the time I'm done getting ready for class, I still have spare time. Class doesn't start until 10:30 for me today. I don't have to worry about leaving until ten. The time on my phone tells me that it's only 9:18. I glance back into my bedroom at Niall who is still sound asleep. I don't want to wake him, but I also don't want to be dragging him out of the door and make myself late. I walk over to the bed and lay my chest over his back, wrapping my arm around his torso. He groans slightly, letting me know I've woken him, but not to the point he'd actually get up.

"You're going to have to wake up soon. I've got to get to class, and I don't need my dad coming home for lunch to you raiding our fridge," I pause. "Again."

He chuckles childishly under me happily. "Just give me thirty more minutes, babe. I'll be ready then."

"Okay," I agree. "But only thirty. Then we need to leave."

I move to get up, but his hand catches my wrist. "No, don't go. I like you holding me."

I smile slightly before doing as he asks, keeping my body draped halfway over his. He makes me feel innocent in a way. I know it sounds absurd, but I feel like I'm going through everything for the first time. However, that's definitely not the truth. The truth is my first and last was Blake, but Niall makes me forget in a way that almost scares me more than the thought of seeing Blake again.

I can't believe my mom actually brought him up casually in conversation this morning. How does she not see how much the very mention of his name just breaks me? I've never felt whole again since Blake ripped me apart almost four years ago. But who is ever whole after their first love decides they no longer want them? Thinking about him, thinking of seeing his face once more, thinking of his skin, the way it felt under my palms and the small birthmark just at the bottom right of his pelvis, makes every single part of me ache, as if my lungs aren't receiving any oxygen, my brain begs for air, and my heart constricts itself into a tiny crumpled version of itself. How can one person make me feel all of this? I haven't seen him in all this time, and he still manages to have this control over me and my mind. Why on earth does he want to see me?

Niall stirs beneath me, turns his face to catch my eye, and stares at me in confusion.

"Charlie, your nose is bleeding," he says concerned.

I put my finger to my philtrum and feel the hot thick liquid oozing down towards my mouth and notice it just on Niall's shoulder blade.

"I'm so sorry. I've gotten it on you," I say quickly in embarrassment.

"No, no. It's alright. Just come on. Let's get you to the bathroom to clean ya up." He gets up out of the bed and holds my forearm as he leads me into the bathroom. He turns on both sides of the faucet and gets a washcloth from the cabinet. Running it under the water for a brief moment, he squeezes out any excess water and dabs at the blood running from my nose.

"Thank you," I say to him, feeling a bit awkward.

"It's alright. I would like to get your blood off my back, though. It might send the wrong message to your family," he smiles. I smile, too. "Here," he says, indicating that I should hold the rag. "Hold this and pinch the bridge of your nose. That should stop the bleeding."