Thinking

5.7K 297 102
                                    

As Hoseok ran his hand through Taehyung's hair, he started to think about himself. How he had it, how he has been, how he has acted. He felt really sad about it. Not only had he been really sad lately, he hadn't eaten a lot and it could be heard from time to time. Jin had noticed and asked him about it. Let's just say, he broke down in front of Jin. And he had been acting like such a petty person. Anger, frustration, isolation, sadness, those are the feelings he felt the most. All these feelings had been taken out on the other members. Guilt spread throughout his body. How could he be so mean?

Soft snores emitted from the boy beside him. It meant that he was asleep and that he wouldn't wake up easily. Taehyung was a heavy sleeper, and he could probably sleep through an ochestra.

"Tae..." Hoseok muttered silently, he knew it wouldn't wake Taehyung up. "Tae, I apologize for everything. The way I have acted, the way I have felt..." he stopped to take a breath. "I had my heart broken recently and I got sad. My emotions couldn't be controlled and I sadly let them out on you guys. I'd tell you everything, but I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet. There's a time and place for everything." He ended and closed his eyes. Little did he know that this night would be terrible for him. He spent the entire night thinking about how he had stopped eating after the breakup between him and his ex boyfriend. Yeas, boyfriend. Hoseok was bisexual and had recently started dating men. His ex boyfriend had been a douche to him. Called him names and even hit him a few times. This left a deep impression on him. An impression that couldn't be changed easily.

After their breakup, everything seemed to be over. He stopped eating, started to isolate and distance himself. At one point he even thought about committing suicide! Of course he didn't do that because he knew that his friends would miss him dearly. He was taken aback by the memories that came flooding in to him.

(Hoseok's memory POV)

He was standing before me, an evil look in his eyes. In his left hand there was a belt, carefully resting there, dangling back and forth slowly. In his right hand there was a big bottle of half empty vodka. As I stared at him in horror with my arm lifted in an attempt at protection, he lifted his bottle and took a large sip. The sudden sharp breath he let out after the sip made me shiver. The room was dark, just like the night outside. Only with the help of the moonlight could the man be seen. 

"I hate you! Worthless piece of scum! Horse-looking creature! You're a waste of space, you hear me!? A waste of space! Nobody will ever love you! Hell, you're lucky to even have me!" His voice almost roared throughout the room. He took a drunken step toward me and started to hit me with his belt. I screamed in agony and face planted the floor with a thud. The belt slapping my skin was agonizing, it was painful... it left me with big marks that were black, blue, red and yellow.

After he had beaten me to a pulp, he left the messy living room and went to bed. His snores echoed trough the house. Was this my life now?

(End of Hoseok's memory POV)

After that, Hoseok never changed in front of anyone. Not Taehyung, not Namjoon, no one. Not even Jin knew about the horrors that Hoseok had been exposed to. The person that he trusted the most was Jin. Not only was he the mom of the group, he was also the oldest one.

"He was right..." Hoseok stuttered as a few tears rolled down his cheek. "I am worthless..." he managed to say just before the alarm went off.

Handsome (V-Hope) {COMPLETED}Where stories live. Discover now