Look With Your Heart and Not with Your Eyes- Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction

Chapitre Dix-Neuf: Incroyable Trahison

Who seems a beast but secretly dreams of beauty,"

I fall to my knees a few feet away from him, practically begging.  My hands were shaking as I looked up into his eyes my hand still plastered to my face.  In his eyes I see a look pity and understanding.  My eyes well up with tears....

"Secretly, secretly...

Oh, Erik..."

Erik's hand comes into my blurry vision.  I look at the white porcelain mask in his hand, I extend a shaky hand feeling fragile and weak without it.  I grasp it and turn around securing it onto my face.  Once that is done I jump up, with my back still facing him I straighten out my clothing.  Once everything is perfect I turn towards him, he is standing now looking at me with intense eyes.

"Hailey I-," he starts but I lift my hand up stopping him.

"I do not care Monsieur.  Clearly I should not trust so quickly..," I say then look down and say quietly but making sure he can still hear it.  "Not even with you."  I turn around and walk to my room, slamming the door behind me.  

I walk into the room and throw my cape on the ground letting out a frustrated yell as I take off my mask and place it on the bedside table.  'Why?  Why does everyone betray me, why does everyone hate me' I think as I pace around my room.  I find myself doing what I always do when I am unsure of what to do and how to deal with it, I sing.

"There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft

And their words inviting

There was a time when love was blind

And the world was a song

And the song was exciting

There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high

And life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung

No wine untasted

But the tigers come at night

With their voices soft as thunder

As they tear your hopes apart

As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side

He filled my days with endless wonder

He took my childhood in his stride

But he was gone when autumn came

And I still dream he'll come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather!

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now, from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed"

I stop singing when I hear someone close.  Erik sits on the other side of the door and that noise was him sliding down so he is sitting with his back against it.  I feel my feet pull me towards the door, instead of opening it though I slide myself to the floor with my back on the door.  If the door was not there our backs would be touching.  Even with the door between us I smell his rich, intoxicating smell; wax candles, parchment and roses.  My body wants to throw the door open and hug him but my mind screams to stay on this side of the door where it was safe.  

I hear the vibration of Erik's voice, "Oh Hailey, what did I do?  Why did I ever doubt you?  Why was I so foolish..."  Erik did not know I was on the other side and he was talking to himself, his voice wavering in between phrases and words.  "Oh Hailey what have I done...  I denied you and betrayed you... I hurt you... I did not trust you... oh Hailey."

I feel Erik's presence disappear and after a few moments I open the door slightly seeing a red rose tied with a black ribbon and a letter sitting in his place.  I quickly look around feeling self conscious since my face was not concealed and grab the rose the the note.  I close the door and lock it once more before turning towards the rose, holding it to my chest and putting it to my nose.  After a few moments with it I walk to the bedside table placing it next to my mask and grabbing the note, opening it up.

My Dearest Hailey,

I am so sorry for doubting you and betraying you.  I understand if you never want to see me again.  I am sorry for what I have done for you.  I know that it is hard to trust someone and even harder to trust them if they are like me.  Yet you did trust me, but I shattered that trust.  If you ever can give me a second chance I will cherish it.  I do understand if you do not want to though.  If you can ever forgive me I will be waiting.  I am deeply sorry Hailey.

Forever Yours,

Erik

 I reread the letter a few times more.  I hug the letter to my chest like I did with the rose.  When I look at the letter from him again my eyes waver on the closing.  It said 'Forever Yours.' 

'No that can not mean anything Hailey.  He probably just meant it in a friendly way, not in the way you are thinking.  But what if it was not written as a friend, but as something more' I think to myself.  I whisper to myself before placing the letter next to my rose and mask, "Impossible."