Who Are You?

14. Heinz Baked Beans

A/N: Sorry for the wait. It wasn't worth it. AndILoveJohn

The fairy wasn't joking when she said they needed the luck. So far Roger, John and Pete took turns minding Moon and looking for paradox items... basically making the impossible happen.

So far they'd obtained a number one Kinks album, assisted Mick Jagger land a date (Pete dressed up as a woman helped with that. Don't see why he needed to dress up. Mick is that desperate), they also found a Paul McCartney with  a not tiny dick and discovered a moment where Anita was not being a demon cow. Some things they thought were impossible happened right before their eyes. They still needed to find one more...

It was between a drummer who gets all the girls, a 100% drug free Bob Dylan or an instance where Jimmy Page gave credit where the court didn't force him too. It was John's turn to go searching but it was harder than it sounded.

The joke that John could sleep through a nuclear attack became reality. He lay on the beach in some apocalyptic future,  the year 2017. Everybody on the beach had matching towels...oh how tragic the future seemed.

A girl wearing a surfboard got out a can of Heinz Baked Beans and attempted to cook them with the fire that just magically appeared before her. It was the future and in 2017 for some reason fires happened magically.

The smell of baked beans filled the air and John began to wake out from what we assume is his hibernation. "Is that food?" He sniffed, jumping up into the air.

The lass cooking the beans looked up to him and introduced her self. "I'm Shae and I love John."

A multitude of males turned around. "You called?" They said in unison. After realising they weren't the choose one, the great oh mighty John they turned back to the exclusive John only game of volleyball.

(Our) John smiled. "Well, my name is John so maybe you'll conviently give me some food."

It was a great plan, taking someone elses food. It never fails unless they refuse. So like a 48% success rate. Maybe not perfect. But John had high hopes.

Shaz raised her eyebrow. "You aren't going to bathe in it are you?"

John laughed. "No that is Roger's...erm well thing."

Another group of males turned around. "Roger that's my name," they all smiled. They all realised they weren't THE Roger so ran off to annoy the Johns. The Johns and Rogers were rival groups you see.

John shook his head. "But please, give me some food," he begged. "I'll play my french horn for food or grow questionable facial hair."

A John slapped a Roger in the face with a lobster in the background as John pleaded for some food.

Shaz bit her lip. "Okay, I'll give you some. Just be caref-"

It was already too late John scoffed down all the beans in record timing which would of been nice if it was impossible but with John eating food was never impossible.

"Those beans are magic..." finished Shaz.

John hiccuped. "Oh, why does everything have to be magic in this story. The ring, the bus, the fire and now these damn beans."

"Mm," she sighed. "So what brings you hear John?"

A Roger picked up a dolphin and dropped it on a John's head. Screaming insued. Mostly deadly insults that included: "You wear army boots, you are wearing something so ugly that even Brian Jones couldn't pull off and even Mick Jagger is less annoying than you."

"I'm on the look out for something impossible to help save a friend from a painful death." Explained John. "The usual, you know."

Shaz nodded. "Always good, so you found anything?"

John coughed weakly. "I was too busy sleeping so no."

"Ah that sucks, well I'm just going to go home and play my awesome album that doesn't involve Jimmy Page ripping off other artists and him giving them credit when the court doesn't actually force him too."

John waved goodbye, but then paused for a minute. "Huh wait a second, wait up Shaz!"