Lumipas ang semestrial break,umuwi ako sa Bulacan. Tumulong ako kay mama sa mga gawain niya,I stayed until the end of the school break.
Si Claude ay nasa Singapore ng buong school break,he never failed to text me or call me everyday. Kahit pa gabi gabi na kaming naka Skype bago matulog. He always tells me his days with his family,where day go and what they did. It sweet kung tutuusin,kaya I am giving all the time I have for him. Baka sakaling maging totoo ang mga ipinapakitang tao ko lamang. Baka sakaling maging totoo ang mga ipinaparamdam ko sa kanya. He's a nice guy,sweet,loving and gentleman.
Si Rocco,I'm ignoring him,he keep texting and calling almost every now and then. Maybe he already figured out that I'm not in the city,he should be,he's a stalker. I was just so thankful that he didn't show up during my holiday in my parent's place.
After that night,natakot talaga ako sa kanya ng sobra,not because he will hurt me physically. Nararamdamn ko na hindi niya iyon magagawa sa akin. Natakot ako dahil ramdam ko ang mga nais niyang ipaintindi sa akin.
The intensity of his emotion caught me off guard,I fear the pain that will break both of us. I never loved anyone else except my family,but him. He made me touch the most sacred core of my emotions. He made me feel the only feeling that I am afraid to open to anybody else,but him.
As much as I can,I don't want to see him,hear him,feel him or even hear anything about him. He is the biggest no in my life right now,my biggest fear I never thought would materialize.
Love? He said he love me,how can it be that possible to love someone you just met? Love that is a scary word,it is deep and it is painful.
My mother love my father so much,so as my father to my mother. When he died,mother fell deep,if it is not for me and my sister she would have give up life,too.
My friends,they do love,too,they love but they got hurt. I've seen them cried hundred times over a guy. They love,they give everything they can so they will be love too,but they still left behind. Now they are different person,the pain tough them to be emotionless.
I was not hurt neither felt pain for loving someone,I'm cautious. I know what I want,I know what is best for me and I know how to prevent from breaking.
Right now,I'm preventing myself from hurting,pain and breaking. Why would I risk myself to feel those when I can prevent them to happen? It's just common sense,I guess.
"Kelan ba ang balik nyo? School start on Monday" she reminded him.
"The next weekend,sorry I won't be there with you yet" he said in apologetic way "I wanted to go back with mom but she said for me stay and spend more time with our relatives"
I force a smile.
"Its okay,anyway,I'll send you my sched for this term,I've got yours already"
"Thanks babe,your the best,I love you so much"
"Love you,too,bye! Babe"
"See you soon,babe,I missed you so so much" he gave her a flying through the screen of her laptop.
"Missed you,too"
After bidding goodnight they decided to end the video call through Skype.
She lay down on her bed,eyes,wide awake,its already passed ten in the evening. Pero hindi siya makatulog,marami ang bumabagabag sa kanyang isipan. And she's trying hard not to be affected of her thoughts,they are not good.
"Sabay ka na sa akin"
"Sige ate"
Sabay silang lumabas ng apartment ng ate niya,pasukan na naman niya. Like what Claude said sa weekend pa ang dating ng mga ito. Sanay naman siyang pumasok ng naka commute,sa tuwing uwian lamang siya inihahatid ng kasintahan. Pedro ngayon na wala pa ito ay commute na muna ulit siya,one week lang naman iyon.
