I Turn To You

Chapter 5

***May Be Triggering, Includes Self Harm***

Michelle's POV

I woke up to the sound of flowing water. I guess Jacquie had gone to take a shower. I really should go take mine soon! I am meeting Christina today! I'm honestly really nervous. What if she doesn't like me? What if I make a complete fool of myself? My anxiety levels were rising as these thoughts surfaced my mind.

"Good morning Michelle" Jacquie said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Good morning!" I replied.

"Well, battle rounds today! I'm literally crossing my fingers right now! I better not have to go up against you." Jacquie smiled.

"Well... if we did have to go up against each other it would be an easy win for you!" I claimed.

"Are you kidding?! You voice is amazing! I love you so much!" Jacquie acknowedged. 

"Whatever you say! I giggled as I walked over to my dresser.

I went in my drawer and pulled out a cute, grey sweater from Abercrombie and dark jeans. I walked into my own bathroom and started to run the water as steam rapidly filled the room. I un-zipped my black sweatshirt and took of my PINK sweatpants. I have to admit, I was pretty warm last night but I couldn't let Jacquie see my cuts... Like what if she had to get up and go to the bathroom or something?! She can't find out that she rooms with a girl with scars! She will probably never want to talk to me again...

I stepped into the shower as the warm water trickled down my body. I had finshed washing my hair when something sleek, reflecting the light caught my eye. My razor. I tried to tell my self no as I pondered over what to do. I really can't self harm, not today... I can't let Christina or any Team Xtina members find out. I need to at least last until later tonight. One cut on the thigh won't kill though... No! I screamed in my head as I threw it out of the shower. Thankfully it landed on the nice, fluffy towel instead of the rock, hard, tile floor. It's amazing how when you start self harming you fall deeper and deeper into it and you can't look a a razor for shaving you legs the same way anymore...

I snapped out of my thoughts as I quickly got out of the shower. I wrapped myself in the towel and started to put my outfit on. I slipped my long sleeve sweater over my head and pulled up my jeans. I also wrapped a black scarf around my neck. After I dried my hair, I just decided to leave it in wavy, brown locks. I added gold hoop earrings and then stepped into my Uggs. I speedily fixed up my bathroom and headed out to relax on my bed. 

I walked over and sat on my bed while waiting for it to be time to go and find out our battle partners and rehearse. Oh, and of course meet Xtina! I updated my Instagram and within a few minutes Jacquie came into my side of the room. Her gorgeous brown hair was almost identical to mine. We could probably pass as sisters!

"Ready to go?!" Jacquie asked me.

"Yes!" More ready than I will ever be! I responded.

"Let's go!" Jacquie said, heading to the door.

I grabbed my phone and quickly followed her.

We walked into the Team Xtina lounge and sat on the couch waiting for the rehersal.  Jacquie and I also met a bunch of the other Team Xtina members. Jacquie pulled out her iPhone so me and her could take a photo. We both smiled as she snapped the picture and uploaded it to Instagram and Twitter. My phone buzzed with the twitter notification.

"Hi guys! Welcome to Team Xtinaaaaa!!!!" Christina announced as she walked through the door.

My heartbeat drummed in my ears. The Christina Aguilera is standing in front of me! I'm literally about to scream. I clenched onto my phone and looked back up at her. She looked perfect as always.