The Wish List

You're Beautiful

"Watch me."

*

Ty stayed downstairs with Tessie while I went back up the my room, not really in a talkative mood as I sat down on my bed and went through the paperwork Ty's mother had given me.

"Wells." I said out loud, a smile finding it's way to my lips, "Tyler Wells." It was the first time I had heard or seen Ty's last name, so I couldn't stop myself from saying it out loud a few times.

I shut the files and set them on my nightstand after a few minutes and walked toward my mirror, pulling my hair from it's bun.

I didn't look like me, I didn't look like the same Alyssa Morrison I had six months ago, finishing up my third semester of college.

Dark circles had formed under my eyes, my  lips were chapped under the red lipstick I had put on them. Even my body had taken the hit. I had lost weight, making my clothes hang off me loosely.

Steph had always thought I was the prettiest girl in the world, but she hadn't really seen much of it. Sure, I had nice curves and an okay smile. My eyes were my best feature though, by far. But I was no where as gorgeous as she was. . . as she would have been.

"I can't smile." I choked out, touching the picture of Steph and me in her hospital room taped to the top corner of my mirror, "I can't, Steph." I shut my eyes, trying to stop the tears I knew were ready to escape my eyes.

"Ally?" Tessie spoke up from the doorway behind me, her voice breaking the nearly unbearable silence in the room. I turned, trying to force a smile on to my face as I looked down at her.

"Why you crying?" She asked, walking over to me, still hugging her stuffed unicorn against her chest.

"I'm not crying." I lied, "It's just allergies." She didn't look like she believed me. She looked at her own reflection in the mirror, giggling after a second.

"I think Daddy thinks your pretty." She said, looking up at me with her adorable, big blue eyes. I knelt down, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"It's not like that, sweetie. I'm helping Daddy so he can find you a new Mommy eventually. A pretty woman that will love the both of you." She shook her head, starting to pout.

"No. I like you." She threw her arms around my neck, "You said you'd be here with me. Don't leave me like Mommy." I fell back against my bed, still hugging the little girl against me as I stared at my reflection in my mirror.

I had thought when I met Tessie that she had reminded me of my curious and extroverted baby sister. But I was wrong.

The little girl, the girl that was scared everyone around her would just leave her. The little girl that couldn't escape the thought that one day she might not have anyone there for her, no matter how much money her family had.

Tessie didn't remind me of Steph, no, she reminded me of myself.

*

To my surprise, Ty's mom never came by to pick Tessie up. She sent a text a little after eight saying she could stay over night with us. Some part of me thought there was some sort of catch, but I wasn't going to let Tessie or Ty know that. Instead, I forced them into the living room and had Sienna whip up her chocolate croissants before she headed out for the night.

"Daddy?" Tessie whispered. He looked away from the TV and at the girl sitting between us.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Ally pretty?" Ty blinked, as if he were trying to process the question. I reached up and rubbed a hand down my face, shaking my head. 

"Well," Ty paused and looked up from her and at me, "I don't think Alyssa is pretty. I think she's beautiful." Tessie giggled, shooting a smug look in my direction.

"I told you." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Do you want to know why I think she's beautiful?" He asked the four year old beside him. She nodded.

"There's a difference between pretty and beautiful. Someone that has a pretty face and body is simply that, pretty. But someone, someone that has a heart like no other, that can make a whole room light up when they smile, that's someone that's beautiful." I looked down at the carpet, my cheeks warming up.

"And Ally beautiful." Tessie confirmed. I saw Ty nod out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes. She's without a doubt one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. Inside and out."

*

Later that night, I made my way back into my bedroom and stepped back in front of my mirror, my own eyes staring back at myself. I shut my eyes, smiling a little bit.

"I am beautiful." I whispered, not sure I felt it yet. But maybe. . . maybe if I told it to myself enough, I would. Stephanie would want nothing more than for me to learn to love myself as much as she had. 

"I agree." I watched as my pale complexion soon turned as red as the apple on the Snow White poster behind me.

"Thanks." I mumbled, embarrassed. 

"Why are you so afraid of letting people see you cry?" He asked, reaching for my shoulder and turning me around so I was facing him.

"It doesn't matter." I avoided eye contact.

"Alyssa, you can't keep your feelings bottled up. You're bound to break at some point." I shrugged, brushing his hand off my shoulder and sitting on the edge of my bed.

"My parents thought it was a weakness to cry. They nearly disowned my older brother when he lost it at eighteen. He cried, he screamed, he went against everything they wanted their perfect family to be." I saw Ty's lips turn down in a frown.

"That's wrong." He said, "When you cry, it's because you've been fighting for so long. Because you need to release your anger, your pain. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you've been strong for far too long." I laughed coldly.

"It gets better. They loved to fight, loud screaming match kind of fighting. Yet they could sit here and threaten to kick us out if we were to shed a single tear in front of any of their friends or family." He sat down on the bed beside me and smiled sadly, nudging me gently with his shoulder.

"I think it's cute when women cry." He said quietly.

"Really? What kind of turn on is that?" I could feel myself starting to smile a little.

"It just shows who they are." He shrugged, "Emotion makes them more then just plastic girls living in a plastic world."

**AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed! I know it was kind of an emotional chapter, but the next will be fun and eventful! 

Let me know what you guys thought!

~ChasingMadness24