I Won't Give In

Don't Pray For Me

Alex's POV

I woke up, the sun blinding me, I roll over to find Ben in my bed, oh yeah. His face was towards me, he looks so innocent, so, so.. cute. The way the light shone on his hair, his lips, him, just so perfect. Why am I thinking this? He hurt Denis, he slept with girls. But, I'm feeling something inside me, it's a warm feeling in my chest. What does this mean?

Ben's POV

I shifted as I began to wake up, my head was killing me I don't know anything that happened last night. I turn over and feel someone beside me. Oh come on, I fucked another slut? I open my eyes to realize I'm in Alex's bed. Alex is staring up at me. What? Did I get her back? Was everything that happened just a dream? She didn't lose her memory of us?

"Um, why are you staring at me?" I sleepily ask.

Her face went red as she looked away.

"I uh sorry," She mumbles.

"What happened last night?"

"Well, you came here wasted, uh you told me a bunch of stuff and I let you stay here," She whispers.

"So, then why are you in bed with me?

"You asked me not to go.."

"Oh,"

Alex stood from the bed and looked at me.

"You probably want a Tylenol," She say going out of the room.

I sigh and get out of her bed and looked at myself in her mirror. I look disgusting, I have dried tears on my cheeks. Why? My hair is a mess, I'm a mess. Alex walked back into the room and handed me a glass of water and a pill. I swallow the pill and sigh looking at her. She looked right back at me. She looks so perfect, she always looks perfect, she is perfect. I walk up to her and try to embrace her in a hug but she just backed up.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Just because I let you stay here, which was only because i didn't want you to do something stupid. Doesn't change the fact that I don't love you Ben,"

I frown. So it wasn't a big dream, she really did forget me. I fucked up so bad, so so bad. I wish I controlled me anger better, I wish I had of just accepted that Alex likes Denis instead of me. No matter how much it would kill me, how much it does kill me, to see her and Denis kiss. He's treating her better than I ever did. Denis deserves her, I hate to say it. Alex deserves someone who cherishes her, who wouldn't cheat on her. Someone unlike me.

"Look Alex, I know my apologies don't mean shit to you, I know it won't change what I did, it won't change who I have become," I begin.

"Ben-"

"No, please I need to get this out," I cut her off.

She closes her mouth and crosses her arms, hinting for me to continue.

"I've become a monster, I've become the guy that I tried protecting you from, and I'm so so sorry for all that I've done. But I did it out of love, I know you don't believe me when I say I love you, but I do love you, I'm so in love with you, and when I saw you and Denis get so close, I was hurting so much, and I drank to try to forget about it, I slept with girls hoping that I could find someone else. But no one compares to you, Alex you're perfect, and you deserve someone who will treat you like a princess, someone who won't hurt you, won't break your heart, and well, won't try to murder someone, so as much as I hate to say this, I'll try to move on, I'll leave you alone, hell if you want me out of your life if it would make you happy then I'll leave for good. But please, ask Denis about what happened before the accident, you deserve the truth, and it should come from him," I breathe out, stuttering here and there, my voice cracking. No, I won't cry in front of her.

She just stared at me, like she was paralyzed.

"Again, I'm sorry for all that I've caused since you woke up, and before you woke from the coma, I'll leave you alone," I finish, I lean down and kiss her forehead, walking out of her room, and out of her house, for good.

I walk back home which is only like a five minute walk, I enter the house to find boxes around the house and the living room empty.

"What's going on?" I ask my mom.

"We're moving," She says.

"W-what why?!" I cry.

"Your father and I have been talking and we think it's time for us to go somewhere around the country, somewhere more open spaced, a fresh start.

"No we can't move!"

"The house is already paid for, we're leaving in two days,"