What the heart wants (boyxboy)

Forty

He looks at me and I wish it was an angry look but his eyes are sad instead "I asked you to do one thing Jax not drink and you couldn't even do that. How's this supposed to work if you won't listen to me?"

"I'm trying I swear! and don't give me that Mitch, you weren't drinking at Cam's pregame? yeah Summer told me"

Looking at me in disbelief he replies "no actually I wasn't because I was too worried about you. None of this is helping you Jax and I can't seem to show you that no matter what I say, so go have fun I'm going home."

I watch him walk away "be the bigger person Jax" I say to myself going after him. If I let Mitch leave then he'll be done with me and stubborn or not I can't lose him "I'm sorry" I run up to his car apologizing as he gets in "I'm sorry I didn't realize how important this was to you."

"You didn't realize how important you are to me?" getting out of the car he shuts the door "Jax all I ever do is think and worry about you, you were trapped in a fire, you have nightmares that make you cry in the middle of the night. You won't talk to me or join the support group so I don't know how else I can help you."

"You have been helping" Taking his hand "I would've died if it wasn't for you, you've done nothing but helped I'm just too stupid to see that-"

"You're not stupid"

"I am because I almost just let you walk away, I don't know what I did to deserve you but I'm not gonna lose you over this. So, I'm done no more drinking and no more fighting, I just want you."

He takes his hand away from me "I want to believe you Jax but I feel like as soon as Summer calls you back inside, you're gonna run in there and continue to do whatever you want"

"No I won't I promise" he doesn't reply which is a clear indication that he doesn't believe me "how can I prove it to you?"

Looking at me seriously he says "leave with me right now"

"But- the party?" I point to the house

"Right the party" He opens the car door again

"Ok fine fine I'll come with you" we both get in the car and he drives away.

Mitch drives us to the beach then parks "I brought a blanket this time" I smile as he reaches in the back seat to grab it. We walk to the beach side by side but neither of us says a word, Mitch lays down the blanket and we sit next to each other facing the water. "Thank you for leaving your party"

"Mitch you trust me right? I mean we're together now and I need to know that you trust me it's the only way I can get better"

"I want to but the last person I dated was Summer and she wasn't an easy person to trust"

"But I'm not Summer" that's another worry of mine I feel like I'm always going to be compared to Summer. "I won't give you a reason to not trust me but that doesn't mean I'm not going to mess up, I don't have my head screwed on right like you do" I smile bumping into him playfully. "I shouldn't have gone to the party I was just being stubborn and I let such a tedious thing mess with my head." He's looking into my eyes and I just can't tell what he is thinking so I wait until he says something

"Why do you drink so much?" He asks and my shame makes me look away "I know you know what your body can handle, but you push those boundaries, why? To prove you can be drunk and have fun? Or is blacking out some sort of escape?"

"To black out I guess, I have so much going on in my head all the time and I don't know how else to clear it, when I'm drunk I don't think about anything"

"That helps?"

"I don't feel good the next day but for a brief moment I'm out of my head and I get to enjoy life more, but I know what I think I am when I'm drunk isn't what I actually am. I just don't know any other way to cope."

"Come here" Mitch takes my hand pulling me to sit between his legs, wrapping his arms around me as we both face the ocean he says "I want to be what helps clear your mind when things get too complicated up there, I don't care what I have to do Jax if you just tell me how to help I will." I got lucky with Mitch and it's clearly obvious I don't deserve him "promise me something"

"Anything" we talk to each other still both staring at the water, his embrace is keeping me warm

"No matter what, no matter when, no matter where if you feel like everything is too much for you call me first"

"I've never depended on someone like that before" I admit "not even Summer."

"I know, I know when you're going through something because you just shut down and drink. Before that happens just give me a chance first"

"What if something more important needs you, you have to have priorities."

"Jax Wenson you are my priority."

Getting out of his embrace I turn to him and look in his eyes making sure he isn't lying "I am?"

"I never want you to feel like you're not important to me Jax" crawling closer I climb his lap and rest my forehead against his, our eyes never leaving each other's we both grin

"I promise to call you first no matter what"

"Thank you that's all I want" Mitch holds my back tight as I slowly caress his face and hair not believing I got so lucky to fall for someone like him.

"I'm so in love with you" I pull his lips to mine and we slowly kiss.