Fixated

((09))

I stared at my mom now, her eyes wide and my breathing heavy and crazed. 

"I... I don't know what to say," She mumbled, slowly rising to her feet. 

I closed my eyes, my hand covering them even then. 

"I'm sorry, mom. None of this is your fault, I'm sorry," I mumbled.

I broke up with him. 

He cheated on me. 

My stalker is a psychopath.

None of this is her fault, not a single bit. 

I turned and ran from my room, nearly falling down the stairs. I barely landed on the last step before I threw myself toward the door, grabbing my keys from the small table I slammed the door shut behind me. 

My mother stood at the door with a pleading look on her face, screaming at me not to leave. 

I knew I shouldn't drive like this, I knew I should just go back inside and cry in my mom's arms, but I need to deal with this alone. 

I sank into my car seat, shutting the door behind me before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. I hit the bump on the edge of my driveway harder than I meant to. Trying to ignore the pain in my neck from being slung forward, I drove off quickly. I knew I most likely screwed up my tires, it doesn't matter though, it's not gonna matter until I need new ones and when I need new ones I'll have to go out. I will most likely have to go to the tire shop where Casper's buddies work, knowing that he will most likely be there or hear about it. 

Then I'll go crazy all over again. 

I pulled myself to focus on my driving, which keeps getting harder and harder as each tear falls. 

My vision was blurry, luckily I haven't seen any other cars yet, I don't know how long it's been since I pulled off of my road. I don't even know where I'm going. 

It doesn't take long for me to realize that my default is to drive to Brooke's... which is where I'm heading now. 

I slammed onto the breaks, my heart pounding against my chest. There wasn't much traffic around but I was already on Brooke's road. I couldn't just turn around at this point. I mean, I can already see their driveway. 

I slowly pulled around their house, my heart running at the thought of seeing him, even if he is just standing on his front porch. 

I drive up to their driveway, my eyes scanning their empty driveway. 

"What," I mumbled, pulling into their driveway. 

I didn't waste any time pulling out of their driveway, following the road the way I came. 

I let my mind wonder to where they are, where he could be. 

It was only a matter of seconds before I came to the bridge that went over Everett's creek, the bridge that is about two minutes away from the main road. 

I drove across it, glancing down at the water flowing beneath. 

The memories of being down there with Brooke and Casper flooded my mind quicker than the water rushing below. The water was so cold, it didn't bother us though. 

Brooke would splash Casper, then he would throw her over his shoulders and toss her in. She would always call for my help, which I would have to give, then he would have me over his shoulder as well. 

We would run from him and then the fun would start over, the same thing repeating itself until it was too dark for us to see each other. We would always have to run up the path to his house, trying to make our curfew.