I’m so glad they finally agreed to it as my birthday gift. I knew this day would eventually happen! But not everything went according to my plan. When I first told them about this, they were skeptical and mom even said that the laser might be “too dangerous” for me. And there we go again with ‘too dangerous’. Stop making that as a reason just because you don’t have one! Parents, why? When you two are making me, have you stopped to think if it was ‘too dangerous’? Okay, maybe now I’m going too far. I have GOT to get over that—not everything went according to my plan, but I sure got the last laugh.
I’m now in the car with my dad and we’re on our way to an eye institute to inform about laser eye surgery. Its 3 miles away and with the traffic we’re currently at, this trip could take a while.
“Why do you want to get an eye surgery, anyway?” My dad suddenly asks.
I didn’t see that coming. But thank you, dad—you’re giving me an opportunity to tell you some truth.
“You also wear glasses, dad. You know how glasses can get irritating sometimes.” I flippantly replied. After that, I felt a sense of guilt—out of nowhere! And it’s ridiculous because I did tell the truth—well, not entirely but then again, it is the truth.
Dad just replied with a nod, although I can clearly see that he knows there’s a deeper reason why I wanna do this. But I ignored it and brushed off the guiltiness, like I always do. If I told him how I became an outcast for four years because the mere fact that I have four eyes, he’ll only pity me—and that’s the LEAST thing that I want. My most prized possession is my pride, you know.
But how did I see right through him? You might ask. The answer is simple. When you’re with people who prefer hiding their feelings (like my parents), you learn to read actions. So that pretty much makes words, in my world, worthless. And it’s sad because I used to love poems. I used to be amazed how it can express man’s complex feelings and thoughts in an understandable manner. How you feel a sense of connection to the poet every time you read their work. But now whenever I read one, I can’t help seeing them as hypocritical thoughts made out of prudence or need of money. After all, words can easily be manipulated.
*****
The guilt was instantly topped by excitement as we walked through the lobby of Smithson Eye Institute. It’s a hospital that specializes in eye illnesses or a simple ‘disorder’ in my case.
There, we were informed that I have to undergo a screening test to see if my eye can take the laser (or at least that’s how I understood what the lady said). As soon as she finished talking, dad, without further ado, asked how much it will cost overall.
Damn it! I didn’t see that coming.
It wasn’t enough to buy a decent house but, it WAS enough to shock dad. I can’t blame him for being that shocked—it was 3 times the price he supposed. But I CAN blame him for his underestimation. And as for me, I can’t beat my parents when they REALLY can’t afford it.
So I guess it’s all over now—I lose. I’m sure I’m the unhappiest person in the world right now. I haven’t learned to handle this much disappointment yet. So much, that I can’t help showing it—I’m in no mood to act as if I’m okay with it. I don’t care if I break my ‘good girl’ reputation right away—I’ve been doing that for four years and I’ve had enough. I then looked at dad who didn’t look like he cared a bit. But in my eyes, I saw someone drenched in pity. I’m so sorry dad. I knew I would regret dropping my act later on, but I can’t help completely blocking my mind. For now, I’ll let the strong current of my emotions take me and be real.
My lips were pouted as I followed dad. I know I look really ugly whenever I do that face. There are instances when people even stare at it. But my face automatically does that whenever I get disappointed, sad, or just don’t feel nice or something. Everyone I know knows that—I do it like 100 times a day.
Know what? I hate this feeling. And as most teenagers regularly say, it SUCKS. It doesn’t surprise me at all because puberty sucks. Life sucks. And everything else that don’t go your way SUCKS.
We were on our way out when he abruptly stopped and turned to me. I was so shocked that my resentment was instantly forgotten. I stared at him in total confusion.
I guess that only made him more nervous than he already is when he hesitantly asked. “You uhh-do you really want to do that?”
“I wanted to, a while ago.” I sighed. “Now, I don’t know.”
He then asked me to sit down and wait for him. Dad didn’t tell me where he’d go but I bet it’s the restroom.
You know, I can’t blame anybody for this. This is clearly not dad’s fault, I’m sure he was willing to… EARLIER.
Wait a minute; I know whose fault this is—the greedy capitalists who own the hospital. I mean, why does the price have to be sky high? Now I know why only rich people undergo surgery here in my country. It’s just so unfair. We’re not poor; we’re in the freaking middle-class for God’s sake! And yet we can’t afford a simple eye operation, middle-class people in other countries can. You know Norwegian middle-class can afford yachts? They’re not the richest country, and yet Norwegian people have the highest standard of living. Maybe this is one of the consequences of living in a third-world country. It’s just so unfair! Why wasn’t I born in Norway?
And as for the readers who sleep during their geography class, don’t correct me—Norwegian people live in Norway not Norwegia.
***
“Natalie Wilson?” said a voice I heard from the back.
I turned around and saw a man wearing a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck. Obviously, he’s a doctor. But why was he looking for me?
He chuckled as soon as he saw me looking at him with my eyes scrunched. I was a little insulted, but it immediately vanished as soon as he started talking.
“I’m gonna be doing your screening test, so you have come with me.”
My eyes then widened. “Screening test?!”
“Yup.” He again laughed. “So are you coming or what?”
“Screening test?” I repeated, unable to digest the whole situation. And this might take a little while because, well you see, things are all happening so fast. “Did you just say screening test?”
