Intertwined

Chapter 18

            

I check my phone for what feels like the millionth time. It's been two days and I still haven't heard anything from Asher, and where it was just hurting me yesterday, it's starting to worry me now.

I should be used to receiving Asher's silent treatment, but there was something different about yesterday; about him asking me if he could come over, almost as if he knew of the significance of the day and was afraid that he might intrude. It's silly of course, ever thinking that Asher would be considerate enough to do such a thing, but it reassures me in my relationship with Asher, whatever it is.

I let out a breath I hadn't known that I was holding in; there's no new calls for me and no other messages than my mom reminding me that she will be home late, because of another socializing event that I wont bother reading about.

"Did you go to the party Saturday?" Zoey catches me off guard, as she comes to an abrupt stop by my locker. "I heard it was mad shit crazy."

I raise my eyebrow at her, confused. "What party?"

"You didn't go?"

"I was in bed all night," I tell her, trying to pass it off as if I wasn't lying awake all night, too bothered by my own thoughts to even try to fall asleep.

She shrugs and turns her eyes to the mirror on the inside of my locker, puffing up her hair at the roots. "I just figured that since Asher went you might have been there too."

What? He wouldn't...would he?

"Asher went to a party last night?" I try to cover up the shock in my voice, but I know I'm busted the minute Zoey meets my eyes.

"You didn't know?" I shake my head and divert my eyes; I'm afraid that any direct contact might fail me and reveal the true state of my mind. "There was a bunch of pictures online." Her voice sounds almost apologetic, and I feel more like a fool than ever having trusted Asher to man up to his words.

"Show me," I demand.

"Are you sure?"

I nod. If Asher really had been at a party, as she claims he has, it would mean that he had stood me up over nothing, which in return would send the perfect signal of what Asher really thinks about whatever is going on between us.

She is reluctant of showing me, but something in my expression must have changed her mind, because she quickly pulls out her phone anyways and taps on a social media app. The pictures immediately appear.

Zoey eyes me at the sound of my hard intake of air. I don't blame her; I feel like my heart has stopped beating and will never begin again, and if even just a trace of that emotion is to find on my facial expression I would be worried as well.

I swallow, trying to rid myself of any emotion.

It was never anything, I knew that. It's just Asher; no harm done. I tell myself, but I know it's all lies. He's been so sweet lately, but then he goes and pulls a stunt like this, and I start to question every single moment I have ever spend with him.

"Are you okay?" The sympathy in Zoey's voice wraps around me like a security blanket, and it makes me want to drop to the floor just then and there, and cry my heart out.

I nod, because that's all I feel like I can do in this moment to keep myself from breaking down. I know I should stay and face the problem head on, but I'm so tired of encountering Asher in this mood; it always feels like I'm running my head against a wall, and now the headache following has just grown a thousand fold.

"Can you drive me home?" Screw class, screw detention and screw Asher.

"Of course." I know I don't have to ask; she will do just about anything for me, and I love her more for it everyday.

We walk in silence to her car, and I'm grateful that she allows me the time to get my thoughts straight, but it's no use; I'm still a bundle of thoughts by the time I'm seated inside her car.

"Do I need me to beat some sense into him?" The thought of petite Zoey facing a moody, unpredictable Asher makes me smile. Asher might seem scary, but it's nothing compared to Zoey when she puts on her game face.

"No," I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I just need to sort this out."

How did we get here? It's only been three days since Asher and I's trip to the baseball field and his sweet declarations.

Declaration of what? Love? Lust? Foolishness? I almost want to hit myself for thinking this way; I can't let Asher and his words get to me like this, it will only make it hurt so much more than his actions do.

I groan, annoyed with my own thoughts, and rest my head against the cool glass of the car window. I feel like the shittiest person on earth for having Zoey ditch class for me and drive me home, only to stay silent the entire ride there. But I can't seem to escape the hold of my own thoughts or the pain that's throbbing in my chest.

I should have known that I would get scolded flying too close to the sun.