11:30

Three -- Greg

Christopher didn't miss a beat. "Everyone would answer that question differently. It's a bit like coming out that way. It's also a timing issue, much like coming out is. There are growing levels of acceptance and other factors to consider and it's always easier when it's your decision. It's also, as my Dom would say, a private matter."

"So you're saying it was the way it happened, the exposé on TMZ by your ex, that sent you into hiding and not embarrassment over participation in the lifestyle."

"Exactly. I'm not going to lie, it took me a while to work through finding myself in this way but I'm not ashamed of what I do or who I love. I totally get that lots of people out there have not only mistaken ideas but it's more that they just don't have any experience or know anyone in the lifestyle. And plus, even if they do, every Dom/sub relationship is different. But I think people immediately expect it to be, let me try to put this in a way that you won't have to censor it all--"

"Don't do that on my account" the announcer joked.

"Well it's like this. X-rated videos don't represent actual sex, real life. And the ideas that I had in my head about BDSM, and I'm sure a lot of other people do, are the same way."

"Are you telling me there's no dungeon?"

Christopher snorted. "No dungeon, although our playroom is in the basement in our new place. But sex isn't everything, we have a real relationship outside of that, in addition to that."

"Can we talk about Greg a little bit? Am I allowed to call him that?"

"Of course. I can't, but you can." Chris's smile was genuine.

"I think a lot of people want to know how it is living with someone who is autistic. Greg is, correct?"

I wanted to know too. I wondered how detailed he was going to get. "Well we're not quite moved in yet, but I can talk about being in a relationship with him. And yes, he is on the spectrum, he has Asperger's syndrome. He's very high functioning in many, many ways so obviously, my situation isn't going to reflect a lot of other peoples'. I guess, for me, the biggest difference between dating him and dating someone Neurotypical was learning to not take everything he said so personally. I still mess up a lot, but he communicates differently than most of my friends do, for instance."

"Could you give us an example?"

Christopher thought for a moment. "I should have a million but you know how it is, when you're asked, you can never think of anything. Sometimes, when I give him a compliment, he'll just say 'I know' which isn't the standard response. He's also very literal. And sometimes that makes things harder and sometimes it makes things a lot easier. With Sir, I don't have to worry about him lying to me or sugarcoating things or saying what I want to hear."

"Well that certainly doesn't sound all bad."

"It's not."

"You called him Sir.  You said you have a relationship outside of sex but it is linked, right? You don't just get a little rough in the sack."

"No, although some couples do. I have a friend and he and his boyfriend only play on weekends. Everyone is different. For me personally, I like the continuity. I'm not sure I could get into headspace as easily if we weren't full-time. Besides, I have a little bit of a mouth on me and" he giggled. "Oh, did I have a mouth on me. I don't know how he stood it. So for me, doing it all the time's easiest, especially with my schedule. My life changes so much day-to-day and I like that my relationship is a constant."

"There are probably lots of viewers at home who imagine you crawling around naked 24/7 and eating off the floor. Or sleeping in chains."

"I'm sure some people do that and enjoy it. I don't. I get indigestion if I don't sit up to eat and the only chains I'm in on a normal night are my cuffs.  This boy needs his beauty sleep." He lifted his sleeve then and held his wrist out.

"Those are beautiful."   The host seemed genuine.

"They are and they mean the world to me. People are going to be seeing a lot more of them because I'm going to stop hiding them."

They chitchatted and went to a commercial that was there simply to keep people watching. As soon as they came back, they were saying goodbye and Christopher gave a little wave. I had no idea what to make of it. Kevin had wanted me to watch it, but why? True, it affected me but Christopher and Kevin both knew that everyone around me already knew both about my condition and my lifestyle.  I would wait and see if Christopher wanted to discuss it.

***  ***  ***

I didn't remember until the next morning that I hadn't called Kevin back. I was really too busy to be bothered though. I got my bookshelf organized and then sat down at my desk. It seemed that perhaps it was time to finally empty the main file drawer. I no longer needed Eli's file. Or Alex's, or Jason's, or any of the myriad of boys who had come in and out of my life over the past 10 years. No, it could all be shredded. I decided to keep all of Christopher's original paperwork but I made a new file and put it in front of his older papers. Inside I slid the most recent copy of our relationship agreement. I had made the changes Christopher asked for and while he was home, he would sign it.

Right after lunch I drove down to San Diego to see my mother. She had, with Leah's help, packed up and emptied most of the house in order to stage it. It was a good thing too because it had sold quickly and she'd been staying with a friend until her apartment opened up. She was now first on the waitlist and would soon have a new place to decorate any way she wanted, without memories of my father. She seemed to be happy and feeling well and we went to a museum and then had dinner.

*** *** ***

Sunday morning I went to the grocery store and vacuumed in preparation for Christopher's return. Then I went and spent an hour laying in the swing to make sure it would easily hold his weight.

When I heard the garage door, I had just switched a mirror and a painting and was staring at the painting as it leaned against the wall in an attempt to decide where I wanted things. I hadn't hung them, I would let Christopher have input but it seemed prudent to at least know what I wanted. I wondered briefly why he hadn't used the front door and then realized he would have more suitcases than he had left with.

I heard him on the stairs and he tapped lightly on the wall twice before coming the remainder of the way up. "Hello Sir."

"Hello Chris. You don't need to knock, this is your house."

"It just felt right. Wow, it looks amazing! There's furniture!"

Of course there was, he had practically begged me to do it. "Yes there is." He seemed pleased but I realized that it was quite likely that I was missing something. I wasn't going to assume since he been very clear that he wanted some input. "How was your flight?"

"Fine. No problems Sir. Thank you so much for moving my stuff in. I have so much to unpack" he lamented, heading into the kitchen. "Would you like anything to drink?"

This was weird.  During the past week this had felt like my house and all of a sudden I was reminded that it wasn't. Apparently I should've answered because he stuck his head back around the corner.

"Sir?"

"Oh, no I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, I didn't mean to be rude. You look sexy as hell and amazing but, are you okay?"

"Yes." It was the right answer because there was no reason for me to not be.

"You know, it would be okay if you weren't. This is weird for me too and there are lots of things that are hard for me to do and this seems like something that might be harder for you. But you know what?" I just shrugged. "You can do it. You can train yourself to get used to it. You've done a lot of hard things and I think we can both get used to this because Sir? It's going to be great."

I took a deep breath and took his words the way I believed he intended them. And he was right. This was easier than a lot of things I'd done and somehow, with him, it would be worth it and might not even be that hard. "I think you're right, Pet."