Pick Up Lines ⭐ tracob au

dos

Song of the chapter : Plant Life x Owl City

   T R O Y E 

I took slow, soft footsteps as I walked towards my locker. The halls were remotely filled up with people in groups or couples shoving their whole damn tongues inside each other's throats and depicting cannibalism.

I shook my head, keeping my eyes averted to the ground while holding my book close to my chest. I had no intention of staying in school for the rest of the lectures. I did not want any of the nasty people at school fucking my mood at school or even touching me with their cold, damp hands. The thought of it was just enough to make my mind fill up with the unusual uneasiness and dizzy feeling. It disgusted me to no limits. I was already so tired and this crowd just made me sick to my stomach and my hands clammy. But it should not be that way; its just a crowd after all, right?

"Watch where you are going, loser," a tall blonde named Luke shoved me off as I panicked, my lips frozen and pale, my legs stiff and aching as I just moved out of his way and walked steadily to my locker.

"Fucking faggot, think they could get away with anything that they would do in this school," Luke snorted as he gave me a glare and I just tried my best to get out of his sight as soon as possible. I did not wanted to get beat up by some obnoxious bully for stupid reasons like this.

It was a difficult journey, my throat feeling like it would be filled with the bile juice anytime but I finally made it to the locker. It felt like I had just defeated Michael Phelps in swimming or won the gold medal against Usain bolt in a two hundred metre sport event at the olympics. Yeah, that was the level of achievement which i felt.

I let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through my hair. I struggled to open my locker and I felt everyone's eyes boring into my back when in reality no one even gave a fuck whether I was actually there in front of them or not. They acted as if I was invisible, as usual (well, except the times I make a fool out of myself or embarass myself, then they would certainly witness it).

The mind can actually do crazy things sometimes, we are all fucked in the head.

After I had finally opened my locker, I carefully placed the textbooks inside the locker. It was not necessary for me to carry my textbooks home because frankly, I never do homework. Its not like the teachers care about me anyway. I actually get good grades and though they treat me like I am invisible and that I do not matter, its okay with me. Its better to be invisible than be the centre of attraction or be the teacher's pet.

I just took my bag which had the blue flowers in it and a huge smile spread across my face as I felt the delicate blue petals of the flowers resting against my thumb. Flowers are something that I would never be able to resist. On multiple ocassions, my mom has shouted at me whenever I brought wild flowers back at home and let them bloom in a glass jar full of water. She used to tell me that this behaviour of mine is quite an unmanly aspect but after the millions of leather belt slashes and slaps and locked up nights in dark bathrooms all alone, I still found myself attracted to flowers. They seemed so serene and delicate and beautiful with an enchanting scent that they always managed to drive my attention away.

I sneaked out of the school gates, easily dogding the sleeping watchmen at the main gate. I found myself getting lost in the scent of the blue flowers before a dark grey cloud of thought lingered above my head. I remembered something, something about broken glass jars and water and flowers spilled all around as a screaming rage filled up my ears.

I remember the way my soft feet had felt against the shards of glass , letting the crimson, red liquid drip from my feet as soft tears spilled out from the corner of my eyes. I remembered a few glimpses of my father smiling down at me, my mum saying how he is a whore and then something very terrible.

"Ouch," I had said as my feet had pierced the pieces of glass that day.

"Ouch," I spoke again as I felt a strong hammering in my head. There was something that was just stopping me from remembering everything that had happened. It was all so confusing, I felt like I was slowly slipping away as the only thing that could be heard in my ears was the 'ouch' of a five year old me.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

"Stop this," I mumbled to myself as I covered my ears with my hands in order to stop the voices that were speaking out to me but they definitely did not stop. The memory was just so vague and devoid of details but it still had such a powerful impact on me everytime it ever aroused in my mind.

"Please Stop," I mumbled again as I plumetted down in the middle of the road, finding my mind hazy and just too much in pain to even think of a solution or the consequences about this.

The sounds just intensified as I sniffled, crushing the delicate petals of the flowers in my hand with my eyes shut.

"Stop!" I screamed to myself but nothing happened, it remained the same. I was getting out of breath and my eyes were losing vision as I slowly felt myself completely drifting away, all over again.

Everything just felt like this big, broken record being played over again and again and again. But I was tired of this, I was tired of living in this broken record. I wanted a new record, I wanted answers, I wanted to press the restart button but with a different compatibility, a different life and a not so fucked up and confused version of me.

And I just want to feel, I just want to live, I just want to breathe, I just want to care. I just did not want to feel dead anymore. 

heyo. yeah, another update and i know this was quick but pls dont expect another update soon, okay? 

Also, my exams were gonna end on 24th of march but now they are gonna end on 17th april and just kms , im crying brb

take care everyone, ily xx