Chapter 4- Love is a drug in the suicide club

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JAYYS POV-

I knew I couldn't, I just couldn't. Nope. He would never accept, don't have your hopes up, Jayy.

"So are we going to go back to the tour bus or what?" I blurted out, gripping harder onto My bear.

Dahvie sighed, and let out a faint, "Y- Yes Jayy." And started to head for the door. I froze, I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could do.

"D- Dahvie, I- I love you." I whispered softly, so softly the chances if him hearing it was about at ten percent.

DAHVIES POV-

"D- Dahvie, I- I love you." Jayy whispered soflty, still frozen in where he stood. Did Jayy just say he loved me? No, impossible, he just means as friends.

He says that all the time, he probably dosent feel what I feel.

"Love you too Jayy." I said back, "Now lets head back to the tour bus." I said, putting on a fake smile, he meant "I love you" in a friendly way, I didn't..

**Skipping the boring walk to the tour bus**

As Jayy and I walked back onto the tour bus, everyone just stared at us.

"Where did you two go?" Haley Smirked, walking closer to us.

"To build a bear work shop." I smiled happily, holding out my bear.

Haley smiled, then her smile faded after a few seconds, and she turned around.

"O- Okay." She replied, Walking towards where the rest of the group was.

I headed to my bunk, this time Jayy had the big back room... I wish we could just share it, instead of me being cramped into this small little bunk..

I then heard high heels, smashing against the sidewalk, Jefffree.

"OPEN UP BITCHES!" Jeffree yelled loudly, knocking on the door.

Jayy opened the door, "Oh hey Jeffree." He smiled warmly, giving Him a hug.

My smile faded, and I buried my head into the covers, Jayy was probably into Jeffree, and I was all alone, forever alone, incomplete and all alone.

I quickly grabbed my headphone and plugged them into my IPhone, and I decided to play some music to keep my mind off things.

I shuffled my library of music, and the song "Loveotomy" came on, I couldn't stand it. Jayy was singing, and he had such a beautiful voice.

I thought I was about to cry, until I forcefully changed the song. "Lovestruck" come on, dammit, why are all these songs dedicate to Jayy & I? I then decided, to pick a song.

I then clicked "I'm no good." By New Years Day. (Dahvie loves New Years Day, at least he used to, I don't know about now.)

Then I fell asleep, hoping that Jayy and Jeffree wouldn't notice that I was missing.

JAYYS POV-

"So you still haven't asked Dahvie out yet?" Jeffree snapped at me, Jeffree was one of the only people that knew that I had a crush on Dahvie.

"What if he dosent feel the same way?" I frowned sadly, looking at my jet black leather boots.

"Of course he'll feel the same way, Darling." Jeffree smiled warmly.

"Now, I have tour myself in a few hours, I'll see you later doll, hopefully he can do something after the shows tonight!" He announced, kissing me on the cheek.

W- Why did Jeffree just kiss me?

I mean I like Jeffree but..

Oh my god.. I think I like Jeffree too.

I buried my face into my hands, cupping my face in distraught.

Why couldn't I just pick one Guy and get over it? I love Jeffree and Dahvie so much.. But I don't know which one I love more.

DAHVIES POV-

I woke up and looked at my phone, FUCK ONLY A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW!

I quickly, got out of my bunk and got out my suitcase. Picking out, a bitchcraft shirt. And some skinny jeans. I then spiked up my hair, and went to get Jayy, Jayy was just laying on the sofa, playing with his phone, looking sexy as ever.

"J- Jayy?" I blushed, gripping my hands tighter.

"Yeah Dahvs?" He replied, looking up from his phone.

"It's only a couple minutes till show time." I said, sitting down next to him.

"I know." He said, getting up, he had his hair spiked, his green contacts in, leather jeans, leather boots, and a quite revealing top. He didn't usually wear those types of shirts.

Pink hues flooded my cheeks, "Uhm.. Okay.." I got out Of my mouth, before Jayy took me by the hand out of the tour bus.

Fans were cheering as we waved and smiled back, walking our way to the back room.

"Why are you guys so late?" Haley snapped.

"Uhm.. I don't really know." I mumbled, It was true, I didn't know, Jayy & I were usually the first ones here, Maybe it's because I'm fucking lovestruck and I can't handle it.

"I guess we weren't keeping our eyes on the clocks." Jayy replied with a chucked.

"Okay, whatever." Haley replied, as we put our hands in the circle.

"Mother of Mercy,

Come to me,

Awake my soul,

Set me free,

Awake Jayys power for all to see,

Consume all fear that lies in me,

Radiance set your violent flame,

Expand & Blaze the light in me,

Energize my mind and heart,

With all power,

All love,

All peace."

We all said together, then we let out a "GO TEAM!" And we were off, as Jayy & I walked out onto the stage.

**After Show**

JAYYS POV-

After the show and the signings, I just ran, I don't know, I just did. ._.

I ran into my room, and locked the door, and fell face first into my pillow,

Why couldn't I just choose one?!?!?

I loved Both Dahvie And Jeffree..

I heard Dahvies voice, but I ignored it, I needed to know which one was the one for me, my true love. I know it all sounds cheesy.. But I want to know my true love and live happily ever after..

I despise love, but it's a drug for me...

Love is a Drug in The suicide club..~

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