Chapter 4

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nor do I get any profit from writing this. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.

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Chapter Four

America hadn't wanted to punish him.

America hadn't even known that Mrs Jane had punished him.

America had told Mrs Jane off. He had sent her away.

America still cared.

And Canada couldn't stop crying. He knew that he had actually deserved what Mrs Jane had done to him, but America didn't think so. And neither did Kuma.

Canada wanted so badly to believe them, to believe that he was worthy of all that attention he was being showered with... why did they still care for him? Wasn't he useless?

But his older brother had been so tender and attentive in taking care of him up to that moment, his touch so comforting...

Everything ached, his mind was a confused mess of dizziness and headache, and his vision blurred from the tears, Canada didn't know what to think anymore, but there were still two things that kept him anchored to reality. Kumajiro's solid, warm weight curled around him, and America's hand cupping his face.

"Mattie." His older brother kept repeating his name like a mantra. "Oh, Mattie."

He looked heartbroken, his bright blue eyes widened and his forehead creased.

Canada wanted to comfort him, but couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face.

"S—sorry," he hiccupped, "I—I'm s—sorry..."

For the apple. For not being as useful as I could. For making you worry. For causing you trouble.

He didn't need to go on.

A small wail seeped through America's lips, and suddenly Canada found himself enveloped in a bone-crushing hug.

"It's okay," America said, rubbing his back. "I'm sorry, Mattie. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this... but it's going to be all right, I promise. I'm here. Just let it out."

And Canada did.

He cried against America's chest as the older boy hugged him so tightly that he could barely breathe, gently rocking back and forth. Canada knew that he didn't deserve it, but it was just so good... America's body was strong and solid, so incredibly safe, his gentle hands and soothing words, along with Kumajiro clumsy touches, reminded him that despite his uselessness, he wasn't alone. There were still people who cared for him.

Canada let himself shatter. He didn't know what to think anymore, everything was a blurred mass of hurt and confusion, he wanted so badly to be loved but he didn't deserve it, and at the same time, he wished so much that he could deserve it...

Canada cried until he didn't have any more strength to do so, and his heavy body collapsed in America's arms. He felt utterly spent, too weak to move a single muscle, so raw and fragile that he was sure that he was going to shatter at a mere touch... but it was all right, for America's strong hands supported him.

"It's going to be all right," his brother was whispering in his hair, rocking his small body. "I'm here. Everything's all right."

Canada wanted to answer him somehow, to voice out how much he appreciated that comfort, but as soon as he opened his mouth he felt an excruciating spasm grip his stomach, the bile rising to the back of his throat.

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