Paranoid

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"How can you run when they are in your head."-unknown
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"Come on! Ten more to go!"

Fuck I'm so tired we've been going at it for four solid hours. She made me do hanging leg raises, twelve each side. I had to grab onto a pull up pole, hang with my back straight, raise my legs as high as I could rounding my back for ten fucking minutes.

"You're almost there! Come on faster!"

Karah's motto is "Don't sweat until I do!"
We were now doing pushups and every time I gave out I had to start all over again.
The gym was packed now and it was around 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

"And fifty!"

As soon as she said that I collapsed on the floor and started breathing loudly. She grabs a bottle of water and throws it to me. My breathing is  fast and my chest is rising rapidly. I am sweating head to toe and my body is aching. Damn she's good at her job.

"We're done for today, I'll be seeing you tomorrow at 2 o'clock. Don't be late." She says walking away.

"Ohh and the showers are in the changing rooms and you can use locker 27!" She yells from afar.

If my water and electricity bill weren't so high, I wouldn't be standing in a long line of people waiting to use the showers.
After my shower I head to the lockers and look for locker 27.

"Twenty seven..." I mutter quietly.

"Found it."

I sit on the bench in front of the locker and wear my sweat shirt on top of my sports bra. I pull on my socks and takkies and leave my shorts on. I stand up and  put the rest of my clothes inside locker 27. The locker I got is in the centre of the others and had the most graffiti on it, no wonder no one used it. As I shove my clothes inside the small locker I hear someone enter behind me but I don't look. I here the person's footsteps come closer and I'm immediately on alert. I have nothing on me to use as a weapon, I left everything in my fucking bike. Everything is suddenly quiet but I can feel the person's presence beside me. Think Taylor! I could act before they do but what if they're not alone. After a moment or two I hear a locker being opened beside me but I can't see the person since my locker door is between us.

Relax they're not here for you, yet....
I sigh quietly through my nose, trying to calm my nerves. You're being paranoid, I say repeatedly to myself.

I hear the person sigh and sit on the bench. I close my locker and finally get a small glimpse of the person's face. It's a man.
I saw him earlier fighting with some other guy in the boxing ring. He looked so serious and focused but his mind was somewhere else which is why he ended up losing to that guy. I watched him as he moved on his feet and the way he ducked his opponents attacks. He was good and he knew what he was doing.
He didn't acknowledge my presence and I didn't too. When I was done I took my helmet and keys and left the room.

The ride to my apartment was nice and short since I lived nearby. Today was Saturday and I had to be at Duggies by eight this evening. Duggies is an underground club made for dirt bike racing. Every Saturdays there's a race, the winner gets a lot of money depending on the amount of bets placed. I went there last week to check the place out. The competition is tough and the bikers race dirty but tonight I was racing no matter what, I need that money. I changed into a pair of black ripped jeans, a black tank top and my patched leather jacket.

I tie my hair up leaving a few loose strands out due to the curls. I've been thinking about dying it red, try something different. I've also been thinking of cutting it and having a short hairstyle. My mother used to comb it every night before I went to bed. She'd tell me a story about the princess with long hair, how her mother would comb it and sing to her everyday. I thought if she did the same to me I would also grow up to be a princess one day. I think that's one of the reasons I never cut my hair, it reminded me of my mother.

She had shoulder length brown hair and I had dark long wavy brown hair which was naturally wavy. It is memories like these that make me miss her but I never cried, crying was a sign of weakness and the last thing I was, was weak. I never cried when they told me she was dead not even when I saw her body.

My mother was black and my father was white, he was German. That's the only thing I knew about him.

I knew my mother was on drugs but I always kept quiet even when she'd come home in the middle of the night badly bruised up, I'd kept quiet.

I never knew what to do when she was like that but I knew I hated it, I hated her.
She started using because of Rob, my aunt's husband, I think he's the one who gave them to her.

I looked closely in the mirror so I could apply my eyeliner properly. I noticed that my eyes look tired and warn out due to the lack of sleep I've been getting but I'm used to not sleeping. I had light green eyes which I'm sure I'd gotten from my father since my mom had brown eyes.

After applying it carefully I left my apartment and made my way to Duggies.

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