The Marks that Define Them

Chapter 8:

"Yes, Anyxa." He started pacing back and forth in front of me. From this action, I knew this was weighing heavily on his mind.

"I don't know how to say this but... ...I think you shouldn't be in charge... I think I should run our organization." His voice was shaky leaving the impression that he was scared of my reaction.

" You think you can do a better job than me?...I have put my life on the line for all of them, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I stuck my neck for the blade plenty of times for you, taking accountability for your mess ups and failure." I couldn't believe this, after everything I had done for him. All of this crashed on me like unruly waves, continuing to beat on me.

"Anyxa, I have seen how you interact with the others. You- you don't sacrifice. You don't try to understand them or help them when they make mistakes. Instead, you punish them like you expect them to be perfect." I wasn't trying to scorn him but this stab in the back has thrown off balance and now it's hard for me to regain my stance. I wanted to help, to make him see his flaws in his leadership. But all I did was push him off the edge. Stretching his patience.

Until he snapped.

I felt the large calloused hand wrap around my neck and this tight feeling that I had never experienced before. This wasn't Anyxa, it couldn't be. Force brought me down to the sand with each shake down. Each one lifted me letting me foolishly think that I could get away and fly to freedom. Until the chain that withheld slammed me back to reality until I gave up on my thought of flying and expected the chain.

On the sand, the canvas that is my vision is soon cascading in black splotches the started out from the edged but moved in more. Blocking the world out from me second by second. Until all that was left was a small ball of the world that was left for me.Almost everything was taken from me, trying to take my group, my sound went only leaving choking noises, my sight a ball of strength, my stars, and my hearing only the footsteps vibrating in the ground coming closer to me.

The vibrations quickened, turning into muffled yells. And my sight was no longer the stars but of a crowd. The tightness stopped and so did the waves. Everything erupted around with my almost taken luxuries being handed over.

I was alive. I was conscious. Yet, those feeling that used to be natural and normal felt like foreign like a stranger. We were both separated, one to heal one to be hurt. Neither one feeling the same.

Being brought back to the tent my lovers rushed to me bombarding me with questions that were impossible for me to answer in this condition. But I doubt that this is just a condition. My essence nearly parted ways with this vessel that is my body. A connection ruined or rebuilt. Is this me? Or amIa new person. My invisible self cannot heal from this, it will remain forever wounded. But it will still grow and thrive through the pain. Forever hurt but never dead

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Waking up a light blurs my sight. I am out of touch with my surroundings. Out of touch. With myself and with this place. The only remaining part of me that was connected was the other. The people. My people. The counted on me and my every move. I need to gather myself. Even if I was a stranger in this body.

Lenore sneaks up on me like she did while I was on the cliff the other day. He eyes the same as her hair. Her lips touch mine and the sudden thought comes to my mind. This is home. She was my everything, always there for me. Doing whatever it took. I had not known her for as long as I had my other lovers, yet she instantly she trusted in this mess that is our group. Never jealous, never questioning when it is inappropriate. She was it for me. But the other lovers would be spiteful, thinking I like because of she was new. They would try to corrupt her thought so she could doubt me.