we left on a bad—awkward note... i still really don't understand your reasonings for not being friends. but, i've come to the conclusion that, this is how it has to be. us, we can't be friends. i'm slowing becoming okay with that. slowly. i know this didn't hurt you as much as it hurt me... i know you have no idea how much this hurt me.
i believe this is—in some twisted way— going to make me a stronger person... i never really had anyone just leave my life before you... i never had someone "care" then suddenly... stop. but now you... you left... you left, and left without much, if any explanation. you left and it hurt. it really hurt.
i'm not going to apologize... i apologized enough before we said our final goodbyes... i apologized for things i didn't do... i let myself think it was me— it was my problem— when in reality, it was you. it was your problem. whatever it was, it wasn't my problem. i've excepted that... it's taken some time, to be quite honest... but, i have.
the main reason why i'm writing you is to let you know, that i love you and i forgive you... i forgive you. i forgive myself. honestly if it wasn't you, someone else would break my heart, someone else would leave me, eventually. it's inedible. i guess i just wasn't ready. i was already heartbroken i had to leave and had no friends, no church, no home... then my best friend —of all people— told me we couldn't be friends, because of the move... it hurt, it did... sometimes it still does... that's why i'm writing this. i hope this will help it stop hurting.
i really, really hope and pray you aren't hurting... (i honestly doubt you are) i don't want you to suffer what i have. i don't wish that on anyone. i forgive you. i forgive myself. i'm sorry this couldn't work out, but it was for the best.
YOU ARE READING
cherry blossom ((poetry))
Poetrypoetry ((and short stories)) from a girl who thinks too much and doesn't say enough
