I Accidentally Destroy the Mafia

Chapter 1

A/N: Hi guys! This chapter's a bit short, but (hopefully) still interesting. Enjoy^^

Disclaimer: I only own my characters, all other characters belong to Kafka Asagiri.

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Shizune stepped out of the plane and let out a sigh of relief. During her flight from New York to Yokohama, her food tray kept screaming at her because she accidentally spilled coffee on it.

"I did say sorry," Shizune muttered under her breath.

In the distance, she could still faintly hear the food tray shouting profanities at her, so she quickly grabbed her suitcase and ran out of the airport.

While walking down the street, Shizune pulled out the address of a hotel that a friend had recommended to her. After asking 23 people and 37 objects, she ended up back where she started.

"This is getting nowhere," she muttered. "I could've sworn Alex said the hotel was somewhere around here. Maybe she wrote the wrong address? She doesn't usually make mistakes like this."

(A/N: Now, you might be thinking, why doesn't she just call her friend and ask about the hotel address? Is she an idiot? Unfortunately, Shizune doesn't remember her friend's phone number because Alex gets new phone numbers more often than Dazai tries to commit suicide. Then you may think, but isn't the number saved in her phone's contact list? I still think she's an idiot. Well, since her phone kept criticizing her fashion sense, she threw a tantrum and decided not to bring it with her. Very mature, I know.)

After walking for a few more hours, Shizune ended up in a dark alley...leading to a love hotel. Wait, the name matches the one Alex wrote in the address, she thought in confusion. Then she realized the truth.

"ALEX YOU TRICKED ME YOU EVIL BASTARD!" she shouted furiously.

Too tired to continue walking, she leaned against a wall to catch her breath. Unlike most people, Shizune didn't really fear dark alleys, since the walls would usually warn her if someone tried to attack her (because they didn't want to get blood splattered all over them).

Hi girl! the brick wall she was leaning on said cheerfully. Hey, did you know that the boss of the Grey Mafia wears, like, three hats? I was like ohmygod and I told him that his fashion sense was horrible, but he, like, totally ignored me!

"Maybe he has a bald patch and is trying to hide it," Shizune replied thoughtfully.

Lol that's, like, totally not possible. He's not even thirty yet, the wall replied.

(A/N: Yeah, I know, the main character of this story strolls around in dark alleys and gossips with brick walls. Don't judge.)

Shizune sighed. "This is probably what happened: one day, the boss of the Grey Mafia went home after a long day of murdering random people. He looked in the mirror and screamed like a little girl because he realized that his hair was thinning due to the stress from a long day of murdering random people. In horror, he bought every single hair growth product on the internet because who would respect a bald boss? But the products ended up destroying his hair even more, and in less than two weeks, he'd lost fifty percent of his hair. Obviously, he was too broke to buy a proper wig since he spent too much money on rip-off hair products, so he just covered up his baldness with all the hats that he owned."

...that was really specific, the wall said.

Suddenly, Shizune heard a noise from her right. She turned around and saw a man holding a briefcase glaring at her.

Hey, that's the boss of the Grey Mafia! the wall said in surprise. I totally didn't notice him.

Shizune felt the blood draining from her face. He heard my extremely detailed description of his baldness! she thought in horror.

"I am so, so sorry sir," she said, bowing rapidly.

"DIE!" he yelled in rage, and charged at her.

Shizune panicked and stumbled back, accidentally stepping on the tail of a cat sleeping behind her. The cat hissed and jumped upwards, conveniently landing on her attacker's face. In shock, he dropped his briefcase, which snapped open on the ground. Conveniently, the bomb in his briefcase was set off by the impact and, conveniently, both the bomb and him rolled into a nearby ditch that was extremely deep.

"NO!" he screamed in horror.

With a resounding boom, the bomb activated and blew up everything in the ditch. For a full minute, Shizune just stared blankly at the scene in front of her.

"Did I just...kill the boss of the Grey Mafia?"

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A/N: So that's the first chapter! Shizune will meet a lot more characters later on, so please be patient:) Please vote, comment, etc.